A number of people have asked about our experiences with “lifers” at the prison–what it’s like? can you visit? who are these people? With that in mind Laurie asked one of them to write something that we could put on the blog and have you step inside the mind of someone in prison, take a peek inside the walls.
That said, as you read this you need to recognize that this particular man is quite evolved in his understanding of himself, his past, and his crime. He feels deep regret for the murder he committed and has sought victim-offender reconciliation. There are plenty of men inside of those walls “who should never get out,” is what this man would say. And he would also say that there are others who are not the same people that they were when they first entered through the prison gates.
Read his words. He wrote them for you…for this class. And remember that the world is infinitely more complex than any of us can imagine. This guy never graduated from high school, by the way.
A few years ago, when I was much younger, I saw something that changed my understanding of the world in which I now live. It wasn’t something that I didn’t already know; I just didn’t realize that I knew it. Nor was it something that I didn’t already do; I just didn’t realize how natural it was for me to do it. But seeing it, naked and out in the open in the way it happened, made me realize how amazing this act really was in this environment.
I was sitting on some bleachers with a friend of mine shooting the breeze when I glanced around and noticed two men huddled together. I knew both of these men and it was strange to see that one of them had his arm around the shoulders of the other, who in turn had his head hanging low and appeared to be crying. What made this so unusual was that from what I knew of these men, they hated each other.
I turned to my friend and motioned with my head and asked, “What’s up with those two?” He looked over and replied, “Oh, his son died in a car crash and he can’t get in touch with anyone on the phone.” Without words we both understood why the one man would put aside his hate and provide comfort. It seemed perfectly natural to us.
As we stood up to leave, both of us deliberately chose to walk over to these two men. In passing them, each of us in turn put a hand on the crying man’s shoulder and with a slight squeeze we told him how sorry we were. This, too, was natural for us and didn’t take any thinking in order to make that gesture.
My friend and I are “lifers,” convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to spend the rest of our lives behind bars with no possibility of parole. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that this entire event took place in a prison yard. But to us, it is simply the world in which we live. To us, those two men weren’t strange; the situation wasn’t even that rare. Perhaps unusual to see it so openly, but that just made it more meaningful to us.
Later that night as I lay in my bunk, I couldn’t sleep. I kept seeing those two men and that simple act of compassion made me review my world. How many times have I seen or done similar acts and never really thought about it? You would think that in a place filled with convicted criminals, compassion would be so rare that the sight of it would cause suspicion. But here in this place that most people think is full of “beasts” and “uncaring violent predators,” it is actually rather common.
Here there were two convicts who didn’t like one another sharing this very human moment. One was in pain and the other wasn’t’ going to get anything in return for helping to alleviate his suffering. He was doing something that any thinking, feeling, caring man does for another.
Everyday behind these razor wire topped fences there are little acts of compassion. Sometimes it is stopping to listen to another man complain about his day, even though your day has been just as rotten. Another time it may be letting a man use your phone time so he can speak with his daughter on her birthday. But no matter what the act, it is often done without hesitation and with no expectation of anything in return.
You might not believe men in here are capable of compassion—beneath the surface knowledge of another’s plight…not simple sympathy…but a deep soulful understanding. I’m talking about truly feeling another’s pain and wanting to help. This compassion isn’t reserved for fellow prisoners; it is felt for all who suffer any kind of misfortune anywhere in the world.
I have stood beside men as we discussed with a hitch in our voices, blinking back tears, some horrible disaster in the world. I know how upset and frustrated we all feel that we cannot chip in and help. I’ve stood in line with others to give blood, or helped fill out forms to donate money, even written letters to try and help those in need. It seems that whenever a tragedy occurs there is a rallying of men here to provide whatever we can do.
Even in this dark place of hate and misery, you find compassion. You see human beings helping one another simply because seeing another suffer touches their soul. Such compassion is not a commodity held only for the innocent; it is the heart’s recognition of pain in another and the soul’s demand to provide succor—and to any human being no matter their circumstance.
You may believe prison is filled with the worst of men, and there is some truth to that. But look beyond preconceived ideas and you will find some of the tenets of humanity performed in the most incredibly simply ways and by the most unlikely of individuals for the greatest of reasons – to relieve suffering. And why? Because we all suffer and any relief, no matter how small, is of great relief to us all.
This letter was very eye-opening for me. I had no idea that life in prison was like that. I always think of violent prison movies I suppose when i think of prison life and it's definitely not portrayed nicely. It's nice to know that he accepts that he messed up and now his life is changed because he is in jail and hes a better person…but i always wonder: what if he hadn't gotten caught? would he still have changed for the better with a newer outlook on life? or would his life gotten worse and worse? I mean i don't know what he did to be in jail (and i wish that i did so that i could maybe have more clarity on the subject) but does he feel remorse for what he's done? or does he feel bad for getting caught and now stuck in jail? A letter is a minute thing to judge someone on and I'm definitely in no position to judge him but it just makes me curious…
I sorta feel bad because I'm out here with the freedom to for instance, go play pickleball until 11 oclock and put my homework off to the last minute and he's in jail with almost no freedom at all. It is nice to know that in times of need that they can sort of rely on each other and that they're not completely alone though, and that maybe prison isn't all bad after all.
For a man that never graduated high school his English skills seemed pretty fine-tuned. But as a person that never went to any sort of detention center I couldn't imagine a bunch of convicts in the middle of the prison yard hugging because of one man’s misfortune. For a convict to put aside the hate for another and to comfort him when he is in need is interesting. I think this situation shows that even some of the worst people still have compassion and sympathy for others. It also points out that not all people in jail are mean and violent like. It also shows that maybe the justice system is imprisoning people falsely or for little crimes that they shouldn't be imprisoned for. It’s way too easy to land a night or a couple nights in jail. For simple nonviolent acts can lead to years in prison. There are people that went to jail for drugs that wouldn't hurt a fly and other than the drugs, they’re a law abiding citizen. He was proper in public not trying to make trouble. But as soon as he got into trouble he went away for a while and it changed his whole outlook on life. When people are imprisoned it has a life changing effect, just like the guy writing the paper. He went from a murderer to a man with deep regret and a new outlook on life. I wonder whether or not the life sentence without parole is right. Who are we as people to pause decide if someone did an act unless it was obvious and sentence them to life in prison? Who are we to promise that a persons life will end in jail. I don’t want a bunch of criminals who were mass murders running around in the streets doing harm to other people, however, at the same time I don’t want someone’s grandfather or father to be in jail for life when he’s really a changed person who learned. What’s the point of paying tax dollars to keep a man in jail when he’s no longer a threat? Only problem is how do you gauge when a person is rehabilitated and no longer a threat. I don’t know.
This article made me attempt to think like an inmate would when asked the question “what is freedom” and even in the short amount of time that has passed since I read the article I have already begun to think of freedom on a smaller scale. I think the aspect of his freedoms that hit closest to home are all the things pertaining to family issues. “To be there at birthdays, graduations, weddings, child-births, holidays, promotions, anniversaries and funerals”. This list of events contains the very fundamental aspects of belonging to a family and ones that are often overlooked by people on the outside who regularly attend these events. At the age of 18 it is hard to comprehend spending the entirety of my adult life in prison until the age of 31. This young man exudes such an aura of acquired wisdom well beyond his years. He has embraced the fact that he still possess the most important type of freedom, his mind. If you still have freedom of mind you can control exactly how bad your situation actually is. A passage that really interested me was when he talked about the fact that we think of prison as being filled with the scum of humanity but even the simplest formes of kindness exist in these places. They are all suffering whether with themselves or their actions but they try and alleviate it the best they can. A lot of these articles provide evidence about how the system actually turns people who committed cold blooded crimes into thoughtful people who understand their actions and are truely sorry. They try and comfort each other in order to conquer their demons and become remorseful and thoughtful people which is really what is trying to be taught with confinement for long periods of time. While the crime is not necessarily forgiven with remorse, it is sort of annulled with sincere sorrow for the action.
First of all, I have to say I was extremely impressed with the sophisticated form of writing displayed by this prisoner. When the introduction said he did not graduate high school I was expecting to read something written with a very low level of intelligence. I find it very interesting that a man who clearly possesses intense knowledge and understanding of the world is forced to spend the rest of his life in a prison cell. It seems like a waste to me, and I think it is a shame that he put himself in this position. With that said, I am amazed at his outlook on the situation of compassion between people. I never take a step back to realize that people I may have serious problems with could one day be who I need to turn to for help. It makes me not want to take anybody for granted because you never know who will step up when it is necessary. I started reading the story not even thinking about how this man was in jail, and I was thinking it was something that happened before he got locked up. Once I read that the situation happened in the jail I was very surprised. It is really encouraging to know that people are in a place for something terrible that they did, yet they still feel compassion and emotion towards others. It would be easy to just become a zombie knowing you would never get out of jail again, but this shows that it is not always the case. People are people no matter what life throws at them. It is almost impossible by human nature to not console someone when they are in need. It is a part of being human, and I am glad to see this is not lost on the prisoners. I think it is important for them to still do their best to live life to the fullest and do everything they can to make the best of the situation they got themselves into. Hopefully everyone will understand this and really not take their freedom for granted.
Well first off I’d like to say this kind of ties hand in hand with determinism versus free choice. This man did not graduate high school but yet was able to write such a touching and well flowing letter that successfully communicated his thoughts and feelings without a high school degree. We talk a lot about those who don’t have the tools to succeed and this man is a perfect example of one, however he made the choice to learn how to read and write, but not only that but to also be able to do it well and he achieved it. Now to address the content of the letter.
Its kind of ironic how we often down on society and say that we have lost all hope and humans have turned purely evil. We see world leaders starting monumental wars over a slice of bread that is half of their border and half on a neighboring country’s. Those in my eyes are the most petty and violent men who commit mass genocides of their own people nonetheless but that isn’t recognized by anyone because of what Sam talked about with people not being able to see things that they are stuck in the middle of, you can only see the truth if you take a step out and have a new perspective.
If we think about it, it makes perfect sense that inmates are some of the coolest and most chill enlightened people he’s ever met. They have been taken out of the center and been put on the outside literally and figuratively. They can now see the flaws of society that lead them to make the mistakes they did. Additionally they help us to see the hypocrisy within society. Hardened criminals who have been sentenced to life and have nothing more to lose can put aside their differences for someone who has lost a loved one in a tragic accident, and the fact that this is not a rare occurrence says a lot. If you think about it criminals have caused the most pain with the people they have killed and the pain they have caused to families. They are forced to sit in a cell for what like fourteen hours a day? That is a lot of time to think about your actions they probably understand pain better than anyone internally and externally.
This was very interesting to me and I’m sure this letter demonstrates something that most people would not believe could come from a prisoner. Prisoners are looked at as heartless and uncompassionate but they are still human and some most have compassion and feel remorse for their previous mistakes. The acts that take place in this letter show humanity and just how much the human race really cares for one another. With all the bad things going on in the world we lose sight of the good that takes place every day and this is just a small reminder or some of the good that does take place, even within prisons. Most of us view prisoners as monsters but they are just humans who have made mistakes and most of the time they are sorry for what they have done. Society is so unforgiving and quick to categorize them as inhumane or lesser than the rest of the free society but half of the free society seem to have less compassion than some of these prisoners who we look at as violent monsters. I find it amazing than men who hate each other can put aside their differences in certain situations like the one in this letter. The man he hates is in pain and he doesn’t use this as an opportunity to kick him when he is down, instead he comforts him and helps him to get through hs rough time. These prisoners donate money, write letters, give blood and help people who need someone in their time of need. These are the people we look at as monsters and they do more to help people in need than majority of the people in our society who are free. I never knew that prisoners did so much good from behind bars and I looked at them in a certain light that society has helped to cast over criminals. They lead us to believe that every criminal is a monster when in reality every prisoner is simply a human. They make mistakes and these mistakes were most likely shaped by some occurrence in their lives when they were growing up which probably affected them in a negative way. Every time I read one of these prisoner letters I am amazed and o learn something new. These letter help me to see not only people but prisoners in a new light, a better light. People are a product of their surroundings and we are much more humane than we believe ourselves to be. And if we all took the time out to look at circumstances and surrounding factors we could see the truth in every situation and not be influenced in such negative way. These prisoners are humans just like us and these letters are proof.