As you read this letter, consider how we are all influenced by factors and forces beyond our control. The man who wrote this letter talks about how he can’t be sure of his own “moral compass” because he has been in prison for most of his life. But how certain can any of us be of our own?
I am a lifer. This means I have been sentenced to serve the remainder of my life in prison without the possibility of parole. For those of you who don’t know this is the only type of life sentence that exists in Pennsylvania. If a judge, jury, prosecutor, or the appeals court wanted to impose a lesser sentence for someone found guilty of 1st or 2nd degree murder they would not be allowed. Even if the particulars of a case showed that a lesser sentence would be more appropriate. There are no alternative life sentences, such as 25 to life.
Before you think my viewpoint is too biased, let me explain. I believe in prisons and punishment. I do not think that the police and courts are out to get us. If you break the law, you should and must pay the penalty. But, I also believe that the punishment should fit the crime and the criminal, and not all cases or defendants are alike. Each has its own aggravating and mitigating circumstances. These should be taken into account.
…
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize who I see. There is this man staring back that is not me. It is some aged version, an alternate possible me. Then reality snaps into place and all the years I’ve spent in prison roll through my mind.
How did I become the man I see? Where did that curious bright 14 year old go? 22 years ago I was arrested and sent right to the country prison. I was 14, I was scared to death.
Now I am 36 and wondering, “Am I a good man?” Have I done my best? I do try to live honorably, with morals and integrity. But, have my ideas of what morality is been warped by growing to manhood behind bars?
There is no real way for me to answer that. I cannot judge my actions compared to the fiction I see on television. I don’t spend enough time with those who live in the “free world” for a side-by-side examination.
I have plenty of time to reflect on what I believe a good person is and does, and the code by which I want to live.
Don’t lie.
Don’t cheat.Treat others well.
Try to do no harm in thought, word, or deed.
Smile.
Give respect automatically. It is arrogant to think my respect is such a sought after item that it must be earned.
Help. Do what I am able for those in need. I cannot help everyone with everything, but maybe i can help someone with one thing.
Never walk by while bad things happen.
Do the thing that is right and not just the right thing.After 22 years that’s what I’ve come up with. It is not easy of fun, and in this environment most of that is seen as weakness. I see it as being human.
I didn’t arrive at this all at once. I went through my rebellious teenage years, my stupid twenties, and mellowed in my 30’s, all be it in prison. Each stage taught me more about myself and who I want to be. I got into my share of trouble along the way. But, here I am on the other side, still not finished with the journey.
There is this misplaced belief that people are sent to prison to teach them a lesson. There is no lesson. Prison teaches you one thing, how to be a prisoner. How to take orders, live in an 8 foot cube, deal with the pain of being separated from everyone you love, to be the suspicious first, trust second (if ever). Nowhere is there a class on what is the right moral path.
For me it has been worse. I have never lived on my own, never paid rent or driven a car, never held a woman in my arms or had a child jump into my lap while yelling, “Daddy, guess what I did today!” I do not know how much the absence of these things has affected the direction of my moral compass.
Please do not think I am whining. I broke the law and deserve to be punished. The reality is that prison is not a place where you learn morality. It is not a place that promotes virtue.
So, what have I become? Am I some hybrid of my perceived morals and prison attitudes such as “don’t snitch”? Can a person who has grown up in prison learn how to be a good man? Can I have the moral value system of a free man?
It scares me to think maybe prison has skewed my perspective so much that I tell myself I am a good person, but it is the lie that lets me sleep at night. I have no yardstick for moral judgment other than the one I have created for myself.
If I were any other inmate I could hope that being granted parole would be an indication of good character. But, I am a lifer. There is no parole for me.
I have held many jobs over the years. Everything from janitor to para-teacher. I have met and worked for a variety of bosses. Though I have enjoyed or been more successful at some, I learned that doing a job well is a reward all on its own. Yet, none of these jobs showed me whether I had picked the right moral path.
I have even been accused of having an extreme moral view, a strict line of right and wrong. As if my personal answer, to the moral numbness of my environment, was to take the far opposite stance and defend that spot with full vigor.
I guess at the end of the day it must be I who decide, in these unique circumstances, whether I have done right or wrong. Whether I have helped better the world or not. Then again maybe that is how it is for all of us, free or in prison.
Still, if I had never come to prison I likely would not have examined my moral self so fully. I may have still ended up a good person, but not because of thoughtful exploration only because I am human. I believe I am on the right path. I know I want to do the best I can. I hope to better tomorrow than I was today. Maybe that is enough.
M.
22 years in, 36 years old.
Note: Several paragraphs describing commutation in the Pennsylvania prison system were excised from this letter to keep it at a manageable length. The topic is an important one, though, and I’d recommend reading more about… especially if you’ve found yourself feeling surprised or moved by any of these letters.
(Continued…) Like we talked about today in class, prison is not a place for rehabilitation it does not rehabilitate anyone it just makes the situation worse because they are not offering anything within the prisons to help rehabilitate a criminal they are simply putting like-minded people into one place and not offering them any hope for rehabilitation. After reading his letter and a seeing what he believes to be morally right I would say that his moral standards are better than some of the people who live freely in our society. I also agree with what he said about every case being seen individually and not having the same punishment for everyone who commits a similar crime because they should have to consider the circumstances of each individual. I believe in prison and punishment also but I do not agree with the systems way of going about it. Back onto the subject of morality, I believe that people look to the opinions of other people and society to decide what they believe is moral but your moral standards and what you believe is right and wrong should be determined by you.
This inmate has a good perspective in that they admit that they broke the law and deserve to be punished. I'm intrigued as to what depth his crime was (murder to the what degree) that he was tried as an adult at the age of fourteen rather than being sent through the juvenile correction system. I also would not have expected someone who has spent all of their adult life in prison to have the kind of grammar structure that this inmate has. It shows that he is making the most of the situation he got himself into.
The fact that he looks at himself and finds this moral compass to follow when he has very little to base it on is amazing. It's understandable that someone in prison would have loose morals, but that this inmate seems to hold himself to that specific list of morals. Who's to say that he didn't just write that list down for the sake of it, no one. But that's a freedom that he still has. The freedom to lie to make students (provided he know it was going to be shown to students) is a freedom that no one can deny him (since he was asked to participate in this).
Twenty two years in prison is an enormous amount of time for people that are our ages to consider. Been with your boyfriend or girlfriend for a year and a half? That’s nothing compared to this guy who’s been stuck in a jail cell since he was 14. Hell, if the inmate was between 18 and 22 six years would still be a gigantic stretch of time. It’s hard to fathom being restricted like that, let alone being confined to jail cells for the rest of ones’ natural life.
If the average life expectancy right now is about 67 years, this person is looking at another 30 years in prison. For people who very few have reached that age (students in the class) perceiving that amount of time is ridiculous, especially when very few have lived in the same place for the entire life (be it moving as a child, or moving to go to college). I’m thankful to have the freedom to change my surroundings.
After reading this article, I feel that prisoner truly is a different person than the one that was first thrown into his prison after the sentencing. It is almost heartwarming to see someone who is undergoing what he is, actually trying to better themselves as a person instead of just becoming a degenerate that has no values about anything at all and just continues on a downward spiral in life. Reading his moral code was quite surprising seeing how there is no reason to have those set of values while in jail where the majority of those people live their day to day lives to break the ideas that he thinks make some a good person. Seeing all of the different stages that he went through shows that the is taking the reformation of himself very serious and that he is actually putting into hard work into fixing himself. Hearing his perspective on prison was an eye opener, prison really does little to actually reform the people that are sent there. It has very little or maybe even no impact on how those prisoners change to be better people so they can actually be ready to act normal in society which is perceived in so many different ways in today’s society. Even though I agree with the prisoner, prison still is the best way to deal with the people that commit those crimes but there should still be more drastic moves to help them change in prison. With all the people that are in these jails and potentially have the ability to venture back out into the real world, there should be more measures taken rather than just getting off for good behavior but other people making sure that all these individuals are mentally stable to handle being with the general public. Also just seeing how much this individual has changed throughout his sentencing, prisons also may want to evaluate lifers to see how they have progressed throughout their time in prison. Other individuals may have had the same type of evolution as the writer and are actually better people than some of the people that actually live freely.
As you read this letter, consider how we are all influenced by factors and forces beyond our control. The man who wrote this letter talks about how he can’t be sure of his own “moral compass” because he has been in prison for most of his life. But how certain can any of us be of our own?
Morality is one of those topics of discussion that I believe will never actually come to one concrete conclusion. What I mean by saying this is that people’s moral and ethical views are shaped by the environment and the demographic of the people that surround them. While most people can think of one universal, general view on how someone should morally act in everyday life, there will always be that, ‘other’ group that doesn’t quite fit the my ld or believe in the guidelines that have been set forth for them.
For me personally, my morals have definitely changed from my sophomore year in high school to my sophomore year of college, which I am in the process of completing now. These changes not only happened because of growing older and maturing, but my changes in how I view life morally have developed from the people I have associated with throughout my life. That being said, how I view one situation morally is most likely going to be completely different than some other person from a different demographic of people. Take the controversial of child labor for example. From a western standpoint, many people believe that children should be out of any family conversation having to do with the economy, money, taxes, jobs etc. Children need to get an education before even thinking of getting a job, paying taxes and becoming a contributing member of society. The western mothers and fathers constantly pay for them till college, even until senior year at times. However, in third world countries, family morals and values are viewed with a completely different outlook.
. In most third world countries, such as many countries in Africa, the family as a whole unite is responsible for contributing to the income and the finances. Family members are held in high honor for holding a job and supporting each other. If a child is just sitting around at home and not being a contributing member of the household, it is considered immoral to them and shameful. This is just a brief overview of one miniscule example in the broad realm of the theories of morality. As of right now, I can say I am comfortable with how I view myself as a person through daily life. However, my morals and ethics on how one should live may change as soon as I graduate, just like they did when I went from being a high school student to a college student. Meeting new people and moving to new places always has an effect on how one thinks. So, how certain can any of us be of our own morality? It depends on who you ask.
This man’s thoughts took on many directions in this letter. He was not looking for pity or sympathy, but he certainly has had a different life than that of my classmates or myself. For any person to say that his or her morals do not change throughout a lifetime is irrational. This person, M, is the first to say that morals change. First of all, M was sent to jail when he was just fourteen years old. He had his entire life ahead of him. Age fourteen is a time full of changes and a time that shapes someone into the person he or she becomes. M did not go through this extreme time of physical and emotional maturing in his own comfortable environment. He went through it in the place he has to call “home” for the rest of his life. He has definitely changed over the years; he just has nothing to compare it to.
It is very difficult for people to see their own “moral compasses.” There are constant factors and forces, or invisible strings, that influence them. These are often in the form of other people. However, they are also based upon characteristics of ourselves. As we have all learned, these are things we cannot control. How can I be more certain about my “moral compass” than M. can be? How can I be sure how different my “moral compass” will be if life progresses in one direction over another? I simply cannot. To say that M’s “moral compass” would not have differed if he had not been sentenced to life in prison would be a bold statement. We do not know. However, we do know that he has certain characteristics that somehow shaped the outcome of his life. They do affect his morals, but they are a part of who he is. These invisible strings that are tied to him make him the person who he is. In prison or not, some of these strings are the same. They could have led him to the same morals. Could they have altered? Of course. But, the fact that he has nobody else’s morals to compare his “moral compass” to does not mean he does not know the difference between good and bad. Heck, if anyone does, it is M. He knows he did something very wrong and bad. The list of his code by which he wants to live by is a code that I would feel comfortable agreeing with. Reading the list took me back to the basics in life, an area that most people do not regularly take the time to remember.
Prison took away the freedoms M had as a human being. Of course it changed his life and altered his moral standards. However, I think it simplified them. I, along with the rest of the people in this world, do things that are justified and accepted or denied by the other people around me. While he cannot compare his morals to his friends’ or family’s morals, M can self reflect and decide what is right for him, something many of us overlook in today’s society of trying to fit in.
Thinking of how this man has been raised through the prison system, I wonder how this would change his perception of the world. Luxuries that most people take for granted are longed for so much by inmates. Simple luxuries such as having the right to go out each day or spend time with family and friends. This man has spent over half of his life in prison. Thinking of this makes me wonder how my attitudes towards life would be in prison. How would I feel about matters such as religion or the judiciary system if I were raised behind bars? Would I be more or less dedicated to matters such as education? I feel relief that I am able to step back and realize how important these components of life are to me. I am able to take great relief that I still have life's pleasures.
At the same time, I consider if I were to take a bitter approach towards life and its endeavors. Would I curse the "gods" for slighting me in my chances? Would I treat everyone I encounter with displeasure and rudeness? I would certainly hope not. With my current attitude towards life I understand that everybody is living their life day to day. We are all simply organisms going about our daily work. I understand that no one has the same perception of life. No body feels the same about every aspect of life because no one has the same experiences and memories that shape their attitudes. How these "invisible strings" truly do affect our lives. These questions challenge what I was raised believing, and are difficult to accept. Thinking that our life is not in our own control and how different experiences change how I encounter future ones. I hope that I am able to locate these strings and loosen them so that I am in more control of how my life turns out. It is hard to accept that I am unable to change aspects about me such as my sensitive eyes or skin, and I can not change my being raised in the middle class of the Philadelphia area as oppose to Europe, the middle east or even a few hours inland in Pittsburgh. I accept and love my life, and what I have encountered so far. I wish I could view the life in a complete strangers eyes, just to see how different we are.
I think that this article is a nice change of pace from criminals that blame the law for things they should take responsibility for. I feel great sympathy for this man because he was tried as an adult at the age of 14, but had he been five or so years younger he would not have been held nearly responsible and sent to prison instead of being sent through the juvenile correctional system. It seems as though this inmate is trying to make the most of the situation he has gotten himself into. For starters, he seems very mature and reasonably bright. This letter is well written with few grammar and spelling errors. It seems as though placing an immature teenager into prison would cause a break down in the child’s life by taking away everything he knows and believes. I also find it very surprising that he has built his own little moral code in order to try and change himself. He has been attempting since he was placed in the system to become a better man and try to, not right what he has done, but make up for it. I like the view that he has made towards prison. Many people (myself included) are under the impression that people are sent to prison to be corrected. He interperets prison as a place that does nothing to reform a person, but teaches them how to be a prisoner and reform is forced to be made or prison can be much harder. I know, for me a t least, that I can not even fathem the amount of time that this individual must spend in prison. Many people live to be as old as this man will be, but is he truly even living? Many people not in a correctional institution are not truly living, A pulse does not mean that someone is living, making the most of life is living, so technically, this man is living his life to the best of his ability, hile others are drifting through life not truly living. One must wonder what life truly is…
It is always different to hear the view from the other side, as we all have our own fixed ideas about the world and what it means to be a good person. It is true that some crimes deserve punishment, but we rarely give thought to the prisoners once they have been locked up. But even criminals are human, and the fact remains that a life sentence basically takes away one's life. There are no opportunities anymore, no chance at beginning a new life outside of jail. Seeing this man's moral views makes me think, however, that perhaps prison is partially justified. Would he have thought this way and made this change if he were not apprehended? Probably not. Now, in prison, he has to face up to his crimes, and this is what makes him see and understand what it is that he has done and how to move on from that. Twenty two years is a long time to spend in prison, especially knowing that there's no escape- this is a pattern that he will have to repeat every day of his life. He has realized the importance of a moral compass in life, and the fact that he questions his own integrity shows his mental growth as a human. He can even create his own set of standards to live by, which is more than what some regular people can do. His views are very mature, as he does not deny culpability for his actions. Rather, he accepts his punishment for what it is. I think a person in prison can still hold the same moral views as a free man, because morality, to an extent, is more or less objective. The same principles that he gives as his own views are ones that we live by as well. His attitude, at least, is the right one to have. He is trying to be a good person and hopes to improve himself. He knows what he is capable of and wants to do the best he can. No man, free or otherwise, can ask for more than that.
I’m obviously only reading and responding to this shit because it’s been assigned to me, but I’m still literally amazed by these stories. It’s insane to me that these people, these “lifers,” have such a limited view of what the word LIFE really means. I can’t comprehend their perspective of what existence is. I can’t wrap my mind around the idea of taking someone else’s life, of having the power to extinguish something so incredibly pure and beautiful and limitless. It’s equally perplexing that by murdering someone, this person actually did something that’s somehow worse than the worst physical or emotional pain — they took away the victim’s ability to feel, to know, to love, to hate, and to live.
I guess it makes sense, then, to lock the perpetrator up — to essentially rob them of their life in every way besides killing them. Or is it worse? At least the victim is dead, and has no sense of how much has been taken from them. The murderer is all too aware of what they are limited to. Life, after all, is NOT life without freedom. Right?
Either way, I can only imagine that the lifer’s sense of morals is skewed. It would have to be, right? As far as I’m concerned, life does not exist behind bars. Life as we know it does not extend into prisons. Prisons are islands — only a minute’s walk from the real world, but still somehow millions of miles segregated from the average man’s experience.
It’s sort of a cop out to say this, but for argument’s sake you could say that we’ll never know whether a lifer’s “moral compass” is on course — we’ll never experience what they do, and vice versa. How could we know? How could we judge?
Nonphilosophically speaking, however, I believe that the people who commit murders are exactly like the people who don’t commit murders in many cases. One slip up; one stupid moment of complete thoughtlessness; one second too long spent in an emotional, judgment-blocking haze is all it takes to change a life forever. Murder has become too accessible for this generation — sometimes all it takes is pulling an index finger a couple millimeters.
This man should feel as confident in himself and his morals as any of us, if only because he is made of the same flesh and blood that we are. He can only know what his life has given him the opportunity to experience.
__It is really hard for me to explain exactly what I am feeling right now. On one hand, I empythize with this person who has spent their entire youth behind bars. On the other hand, i cant help but wonder what M. did to deserve the sentence he or she is serving. Our morals are instilled in us as children by our parents, teachers, guardians, adult figures, siblings, family,, ect. As we get older, it is our own personal choice to follow what we were taught, be it good things or bad things, or either rebell against what should be the foundation of our character. But how is one to know for sure exactly what is the rigth thing to do? Everyone everywhere has their own personal take on the proper way to behave. Some parents teach their children that if someone hits them, hit them back. Others teach their kids that if someone hits them, tell an adult and do not hit them back. Something as simple as a childs quarrel can end in two very different ways all as a result of what they were taught.
It seems to be a wonderful thing that M. is reflecting on his or her life. On the choices they have made. On how to be a better person. But are they feeling this way because of the 8 by 8 cell they live in? Is it a response to the fact that they will never be free, no matter how much "good behavior" they show? Are they just trying to conveince themselves that yes, they are a good person now, even though they committed a crime that got them in the position they are in? Was it self deffence that they killed someone, or was it just cold blood? How are we suppose to know whether this person has really changed, or whether they are just telling us waht we want to here?
No one can ever be entirely sure of their moral compass. It is just like in the fish in the fish tank example. The fish can never understand the concept of water because it is in water. The same applies to a person’s moral compass; a person can’t know what it is because they are it. Only outsiders can understand a person’s moral compass and whether it is good or not. This prisoner believes his moral compass is good, but he can never real know as he is in prison. His definition of being a good person is shaped by factors and forces outside of his control. One of these factors is his life sentence and the prison environment. He states that he shouldn’t lie, of course in a prison environment this is being a good person because one who lies will either be punished or beaten by their fellow inmates. If you go down his list, all his ways to be a good person seem to be shaped by the social environment of a prison. His moral compass is that of one learned in the prison environment, it would be entirely different if he had never gone to jail. Since he was arrested when he was 14, he didn’t have time for different worldly experiences to add more invisible strings to his puppet. He got into the prison with his strings, and has just learned to deal with those strings in prison. As a result he “mellowed out” in his thirties.
Another thing this inmate talks about is the sentences the judicial system in Pennsylvania gives to people. He has a strong disdain for the life sentence because it does not take into account individual cases. There is no 25 to life, just life. However, the judicial system is a sociological system. And according to sociology rule number 27, systems are rational and so are people. If systems start taking into account individual cases, eventually they will break down. Should we give a lesser sentence to a person who didn’t mean to give that final death blow than to the person who did mean to? If we get into the specifics of a case like that, the system will break down because the rule set forth won’t be followed. It’s either all people have to follow the rule of the system or no one has to follow it. There is no room for dissent.