6797159 responses to “Voices From The Classroom”http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldinconversation.org%2F2012%2F01%2F24%2Fvoices-from-the-classroom-91%2FVoices+From+The+Classroom2012-01-25+04%3A14%3A51Lana+Taylorhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldinconversation.org%2F%3Fp%3D6797
I truthfully do not know what to do moving forward in regards to child sexual abuse. The fact that there is a silencer on these situations in society makes it very hard if not impossible to start to make a stand. Society today is stuck in its ways and will be very hard to change when it comes down to touchy subjects, hence the reason they are mostly silenced. I completely agree with the girl who spoke out in class and what she said regarding the Joe Paterno situation. This is something I have been saying ever since this whole scandal rocked this university. Why are we punishing an American citizen for following the rules. JoePa did exactly what he was supposed to do under his jurisdiction and this is something the media and the school itself did not recognize. The media itself plays a big part in this because child sexual abuse, like I said earlier, doesn’t come out all that often so when it does make an appearance its on a grand stage. I do agree with some of Joe Paterno’s final public words,”I should have done more.” These are words that will forever go down under his name regarding this scandal. Joe PAterno may not have done what was “morally” right but he did do what was expected of him under the laws set forward by the state/school. I do believe that JoePa could have done more but this goes back the old saying of “don’t shoot the messenger” and that exactly what happened.
Moving forward after living through what seemed to be the apocalypse at Penn State, can definitely help me in making the right decisions in the future regarding sexual abuse. I guess all one can do as a person, if you personally know of someone, is to just give them your full support and help them through the mental and emotional strain that such abuse tends to puts on the victims. Child abuse comes I at great numbers but is rarely reported, or even talked about. It was really eerie when Sam said that the people in the lecture hall alone that we in some way affected by sexual abuse could fill and entire section.
So I guess at the end of the day what’s done is done and you cannot change the past, but you can however, use the past to shape the future. Maybe this was a big wake up call for the country to start making a stand against child abuse. Though it did come at Penn State University’s expense, it’s a wake up call nonetheless. I do agree, along with JoePa, that he should have done more but now that the scapegoat is gone, I feel the truth will definitely come out. I grieve for the victims and I grieve for the Paterno Family. Rest in Peace Coach, thanks for the memories!
Moving forward from the tragic events that occurred over the last few months at Penn State, I have to say I'm still struggling with how to feel about it. Though Joe Paterno’s death was a tragedy and it was inspiring to see the Penn State community come together to honor him, I can’t help but wonder why the victims weren’t given the same amount of support and attention. Though we did take a first step in holding a candlelight vigil and wearing blue to the Nebraska game for child abuse awareness, there’s still something inside me that says we haven’t done enough. I think the reason for that is because it’s psychologically so hard to deal with. Many people can’t relate at all to sexual abuse and those who can feel either ashamed or afraid they won’t be heard or understood. It’s easier for us to put all of our focus and energy into honoring a legendary hero then it is to put some energy into grappling with the issue of sexual abuse or how to help victim’s pick up the pieces and move forward with their lives. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what needs to be done, but I think the first step definitely needs to be a change in how we view these sorts of things. It’s not just a problem at Penn State, it’s a major problem in our society. Seeing this scandal unfold at my University has reminded me that this kind of thing happens everywhere, all the time, in every neighborhood. We can’t keep silent on these issues and we must be able to have open honest conversations about how to deal with them. Though I have never been sexually abused myself I have seen it occur with people close to me. My cousin was sexually abused by her father for years before she had the courage to tell someone. She is still scarred from the experience at 31 years old and continues to struggle to move on from the trauma of it. Her story has taught me the truly grave affect that abuse can have on the rest of a persons life. Because of her childhood trauma she has struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, bulimia, and trying to hold a job. We can’t just try to hide or ignore sexual abuse, we need to keep it in the forefront of our minds. If my cousin hadn’t felt such shame she may have been able to speak up earlier. If her friends and family members had understood the signs of abuse or chosen to see them they may have saved her from a lifetime of heartache. No single person or group can be blamed for not knowing how to do deal with sexual abuse. But the biggest steps we can take in light of this tragedy are to recognize the prevalence of sexual abuse, be more open in talking about it, become more educated about it, and as a society put less taboo around such topics that lead victims to feel so ashamed. Another close friend of mine once confided in me and told me that her older brother had raped her when she was little. If she hadn’t told me I never would have expected this. Her family never discusses it and the brother still comes around from time to time. Though on the outside things seem fine I can see from being so close with her the inner battle my friend deals with everyday. Victims need the tools to fight their battles openly, not alone. What I need to do personally is reflect on how I can be a trustworthy person to come to with about these issues and become educated on how to help victims move forward. I want to be the person people know they can talk to about anything and not be judged for it. If we all adjust our attitudes in this way we can bring awareness, openness, and sympathy to future victims. I also agree with an earlier post that stated that more attention needs to be put into researching the minds of sexual abusers and giving would be pedophiles places to go such as nonjudgmental treatment centers before the problem begins. This will help tackle the problem of child sex abuse proactively but again this type of solution relies on society opening up on this issue rather than remaining in silence and denial.
It’s fascinating how child abuse still exists in the world of today. We live in a world where messages can travel all over the world in fractions of a second, and newspapers and other sources of media constantly bring the darkest, deepest crimes of our world to light. But yet children still suffer.
To me, the saddest part of the Jerry Sandusky scandal is not the fall of Joe Paterno from such great heights, not the defamation of a beautiful, strong and powerful University, but the fact that at the end of the day, there might not be a light at the end of the tunnel, some type of hope and place where we can go to stop child abuse once and forever.
It’s so easy for us to sit back and condemn the perpetrators of child abuse as the most disgusting, horrible people ever to walk the face of the earth. But we just don’t know. We don’t know what goes on in their minds. We don’t know whether they think what they are doing is wrong. And we certainly don’t know who they are, because they don’t exactly advertise their presence.
In all honesty, I don’t think it is possible to stop child abuse altogether. The nature of the crime, to take an innocent, trusting child and commit such acts, shows us just how hard it is to stop. Children are trusting. Humans are engineered to trust in one another, whether you believe in the idea of evolution and kin selection theory, or simply believe in the goodness of people’s hearts. We can’t ignore this fact any longer, or how child abusers prey on these natural human tendencies.
For myself, I know that the Sandusky incident has been a call to personal vigilance. Because one day, when I am a parent, I’ll have to make tough decisions about whom I allow to interact with my child. I have to make sure my child knows the difference between appropriate and inappropriate contact, and I have to ensure that my child has a trusting, loving relationship with me, so that they can tell me anything that happens. But I know it won’t be enough.
It’s a sad, scary situation that we face. Can we trust others around our children? I think that at the end of the day, no matter how much I try to teach my child, there will still be abusers out there. Do I hold my child back? No, unfortunately this is not the solution to such a problem, as it will inhibit the growth of my child as a whole.
At the end of the day, the best thing that I can do is try to provide education to those who need it, and serve as a positive role model. I need to trust in the goodness of people, and hope that everything works out for the best. And if, God forbid, things don’t work out for the best, I need to be quick to lend a helping hand to those who have fallen victim to such a horrible crime. Solid support networks can help those who need it most.
I think that doing something for the victims of sexual abuse requires some reflection on your own life and mind. I think the idea of sexual abuse is something most people are extremely uncomfortable with and would rather push under the table. I think about all the girls I know, and myself, who have been sexually harassed either verbally or physically, and who brush it off because you do not want to make a big deal about it. Then, when you do hear a girl reporting sexual assault or harassment, you tend to ignore it or question if it really happened or she is just reporting it for attention. I think that attitude is really messed up, yet I know I succumb to it all the time. When I hear about a celebrity assaulting a young girl, I think oh, that girl knew what she was getting into but that does not make it ok! She may have understood the mans intentions, but may have been completely powerless to his advances. Or felt flattered initially, then things got out of control. Or maybe it was all a lie for press and attention! I guess what I am saying is that sexual abuse is something so misunderstood and brushed under the rug, that to DO something about it requires trying to understand it first.
Personally, I do not have enough money to donate to any sexual abuse awareness organizations right now, but when I do make money donating a portion of it is something I would do to help the cause. Right now the best I can do is help raise the awareness of how big a problem it is in our country and our world these days. I think the biggest problem about this epidemic is the lack of awareness about it. People do not know how prevalent it is in our country right now. Even after the Sandusky news broke out people do not know how ramped it is and I believe when this whole scandal dies down people will go back to not worrying or knowing about the problem. The best way to help solve this problem is raising awareness and funding any amount of money that you can to the organizations.
The biggest reaction to the Jerry Sandusky and Penn State is anger and hatred towards Sandusky, the school, and anyone involved in the scandal. While these are pretty heinous accusations towards the alleged perpetrators, hatred and anger is not going to solve anything. Wasting your time being angry with people like the late Joe Paterno, who may not have done anything wrong in this case does not help victims of sexual abuse. Boycotting anything and anyone who has something to do with Penn State whether or not they had something to do with the scandal is not going to help the victims. Even staying angry with the alleged child molester, which all clues point to being guilty, Jerry Sandusky will not benefit any past or future victims. The most positive way to contribute to this cause is to help the people who have already been subjected to crimes like this and to try and help preventing these things from happening in the future.
Unfortunately sexual abuse is a growing problem and it is more likely that someone who was sexually abused as a child is going to commit sexual abuse when they grow up. It will not be easy to put an end to this problem and it is going to take time, but if people start to realize there is a huge problem and start to collectively make an effort to put an end to it, eventually it will get better. Because it is so common for victims of sexual abuse to turn into predators, I believe the best way to solve the problem is to make sure these victims get help. If they are properly counseled and given proper methods to cope with their experiences then eventually their will be less victims who turn into predators, which will make less victims.
Walking into class on Tuesday I figured that we would be discussing Joe Paterno and how we felt about him as either a hero or a villain. My stance throughout this whole ordeal has been that I feel deeply for the victims of abuse and that Jerry Sandusky (allegedly) has done horrible, unspeakable crimes. My view on Paterno is that he made a mistake; he told the right people as he should have done, but he could have done more. Being the exceptional man he is, he was the only one to admit that in hindsight he should have done more. Despite the mistake Paterno made it is still hard for me to overlook everything he has done for this university and its students and athletes; for these things I must still admire him. This seems to be a pretty standard view of Paterno from the students I have talked to.
Mostly what I have been struggling with is how to explain this to other people who think we are just glorifying Paterno because he is a football coach and completely forgetting the mistake he made in reporting child sexual abuse. All over Facebook and Twitter I see comments regarding this with mean words for Paterno from students from other schools. Needless to say, in the past couple months I have unfriended and unfollowed several people. I really did not know how to explain the way Penn State felt about Paterno until class on Tuesday. We were asked if a family member committed a horrible crime and was on trial, where would we sit? On our family member’s side, on the victim’s side, or not attend? 80% of the class said they would sit with the family member despite what they had done. Joe Paterno is a part of the Penn State family; I would even go as far as to say, he essentially created the Penn State family. So despite the mistake that Paterno made, he is still our family and we remember all the good he has done.
Moving forward, we must decide how we will deal with the events of the past few months. I personally find it too difficult to dwell on the events because looking back on them will change nothing. We must remember what has happened, but we must still move on. I will remember the scandal and I will mostly remember the role that Jerry Sandusky played in it. I will also remember the roles that McQueary, Schultz, Curley and yes, even Joe Paterno played in the scandal. But when I look back and think about Joe Paterno, the scandal will be a small taint on his nearly perfect record in my mind. Afterall, he is human. We can’t condemn people forever, especially after they are gone. Holding grudges and not forgiving people will only bring us down. We must forgive Paterno in our minds so that we can move forward. And eventually, we even need to forgive Sandusky even if our opinion of him does not change. Maybe this idea comes from my faith in God, but everyone deserves to be forgiven.
We must move on not only with our views of the events of the past couple of months, but also with our own lives. I think as a Penn State community we have become stronger, closer, and more aware. After the scandal broke, rumors of students being turned away from interviews and internships flooded social media. The students should not be brought down by Jerry Sandusky’s actions. If anything, we know first hand the affects of child sexual abuse, lack of reporting, and corruption. None of us want to see something like this happen again, which may in fact make us better candidates for jobs. We have been through a lot as a university and as a family, but we have grown up fast and are better people because of it. We are better people because we would never allow child sexual abuse to go on if we heard about it, and we are better people from having been apart of Joe Paterno’s Penn State family. WE ARE…
How can we move forward is a very important question. This is a question that many victim of child abuse ask them self. Having a personal experience with child abuse I could say that moving forward is the hardest thing you could do but it possible. When I was younger I was molested by my uncle. Throughout my child hood I was always told to be careful of strangers but I was never told beware of those close to you that want to harm you. I always followed the rules I did not talk to people I did not know or people that seemed dangerous. But one night my parents left my brother and I in the care of our uncle suppose to protect us from dangerous people that wanted to harm use they did not know that he was one of those people. After we fell asleep he did the worst thing that someone could of have done to me in my whole entire life. When my parents came home he said bye and left like nothing happen. I was too young to understand what just happen, but I knew it was wrong. After this happen I lack trust for everyone. I never told my parents sadly till this day they don’t know. I asked myself how I can move on question for many years. How can I put all of this in back of m? How can my life keep on going? In order to move on I had to talk to someone. I told my favorite aunt what happen to me and she made sure I found the help I needed. When she was younger she was rape by her father best friend. Thanks to her mother she was but into therapy that help her move on with her life. In therapy she learns that she needed to talk about what happen in order to move on with her life. Tanks to her I am now able to talk about what happen to me and look at it from a different perspective. In order to move on I had to talk about what happen to me and understand that it was not my fault. In order for Penn state to move on we need to understand that what happen to the victim is not easy thing to deal with. We need to show are support to the victim. I also feel that we should have an awareness day for the victim to show them that we care and understand that what he did was wrong. Thanks to my aunt support I was able to move on. And with the support of Penn State we can help the victim move on. Penn State is a great university and sadly because if this many sick action we are being in a way blame for what he did. We are still Penn State and we will always be Penn State.
It is difficult to say what I even could do for the victims of childhood sexual abuse. I personally know at least four victims of child sexually abuse and sharing their experiences to even me was difficult enough for them. Two of them never even mention the event to me since they did not know me well enough. They have continued to struggle with these scarring past events well into their young adult lives and resorted to abuse of many substances and acts including hard drugs, alcohol, and sex. It is hard enough seeing them deal with the hurt they endured in the past and only being able to extend my support and condolences. Without knowing any of the recent victims of childhood sexual abuse, I am not quite sure how I could extend my support and sympathy towards their situation.
I realize that not every victim wants sympathy all the time. While in high school, I lived through the uncovering of two child sexual abuse scandals with students attending my high school. I personally knew the abuser of one of the students since he was my grade school soccer coach and played soccer with the victim who was additionally the abuser’s niece. The other student played high school soccer with me and their abuser was a teacher who previously taught at this school. Both of these events were soon the latest gossip around the entire school and both students were quickly alienated. It made me sick to hear others talk down both of these girls as if it were their fault that these abusers violated them. I never contributed to talking them down, but I attempted to treat them the same as I did before. They seemed to appreciate that I could still be the same fun-loving, silly girl, but I wish that I could have better expressed my sympathy for them without making them feel uncomfortable. I never had that chance to express my sympathy for that reason alone.
It seemed that it did not matter as much that I did not express my sympathy for their situation since I was only an acquaintance. Treating them as I had before when very few people even wanted to talk with them seemed to be the best form of sympathy that I could offer. Whenever I was going through a difficult issue, it was the kind gestures and everyday conversations that I had with others that really helped me keep my mind off the issue and deal with the day. I realize that counseling was their best bet for overcoming this kind of issue, but for the rest of the time that they were not in counsel, I am sure that they did not want to think about it all that much. They seemed to just want to move on from the issue and get on with their lives. I hope that I aided in helping them move on from this difficult situation.
For all the recent victims of the alleged Sandusky case, there is not much sympathy that I can extend towards them since I do not know them personally, but I can donate towards counseling services that help them. This seems to be the only support that I could logically extend towards these recent victims. I hope that if I ever had the chance to meet them that I could bring a little more sunshine into their lives through humor and good-hearted conversation.
What can we do? I don’t know. Seriously, that’s my answer. We can only support or help “victims” after they have already become victims, and that point the most horrible thing they will go through in their life has already happened. So what we should do is prevention. I went to Catholic school, and after the Boston priest scandal occurred…what I believe to have put child sexual abuse on the forefront (after years and years of being hushed)…we never talked about it. At a school where children were around priests all the time, how could nothing be said? I think as educators, a segment even once per semester or year about talking to trusted adults about home problems should be administered in all schools. Kids listen to adults, unfortunately in negative ways as well.
The one thing about the scandal that is so hard to comprehend is how the man was not only liked, but loved and adored by hundreds of people (Sandusky). A former football player via my BLAW professor during the November week from hell, said “if you told me that you thought Jerry was a rapist pedophile, I would have punched you in the face.” That’s why I don’t blame Joe Paterno. He was a third party who was told about an incident he didn’t even comprehend to have occurred. Joe came from a time where child rape wasn’t even heard of (ie. His Washington post interview). This scandal was a phenomenon of its own, a rarity, so I don’t think we can use it to compare to sex abuse as a whole. It’s not fair to.
So what can I do? If there anything to take from this whole thing, is that when someone does express concern to you about an issue that requires action, ACT! Between Curley and Shultz (and most likely even Joe Pa), police should have been called. So whether it refers to abuse, or even just a legal issue…it is OKAY to seek help from a superior, father, coach, etc. But if you are unfortunately given the responsibility to have witnessed or been confided about a potential further harm, you must follow up on the people you sought help from. I love the expression “there are two types of evil in this world: people who do evil things and people who see evil things being done and don’t do anything about it.” Joseph Vincent Paterno falls into NEITHER of these two categories.
I think a lot of comments above (and my own) are steering clear of the question posed by Dr. Richards: “What can YOU do?” I think my answer is pretty simple. You can continue to be a good person. That’s all. You can help those who have been hurt by someone who isn’t. It is okay to love Joe Pa and still care for the Second mile victims. There are no rules on this situation. People are free to speak their minds as long as facts are represented. It is even okay to hate Joe Pa. As a victim, I would too.
It struck me when Sam said how many people he believed were victims in our class, but when I really thought about it I can’t say that I’m surprised. It hurts when someone close to you betrays your trust in such a severe and traumatic way, at times the child is confused and he or she doesn’t know if what happened was wrong and they may wall it away in their minds, only to be hurt more by it later in life when they realize that what happened was not the way of the world. It hurts them more than words can describe. I believe that people in the world are moving in a way to confront this though. When we were younger it was taboo to speak of anything like this, but here we are, posting on the internet what we really feel. It is strange how times and technology has changed the way the population faces problems. Just think, when our parents were kids it was unheard of for women to wear bikinis, but now girls on the beach wear much less than that at times. What I’m getting at is that there are TV shows such as Law and Order: SUV that are centered on crimes such as these. We, as consumers, changed an entire mind set. These shows will sometimes make what happened seem much more grand and grotesque than what happens many times, but they do bring the subject to the forefront of our psyches. This is both good and bad. First the bad; it is conceivable that putting these acts out to the masses will suggest to sick individuals that what they think is possible, and they may be more apt to act on these urges. The good however, is showing victims, the real life victims of sexual abuse, that it is not only them. They are not alone and should not feel cut off from the world. These shows will hopefully encourage those of us who were abused in the most horrendous of ways to come forth. They will know that they will not be ridiculed for what happened to them as it was not their fault. Recognizing sexual abuse is much more difficult if the victim does not reach out to you. It is near impossible to gauge a stranger (though many of us subscribe to the judging a book by its cover). This can be remedied by simply being nicer to one another. Hold a door open for another student, talk to someone who seems they may be having a bad day, you never know if they’re trying to reach out to someone. Let that someone be you.
This is a very hard question to answer. I personally have never experienced sexual abuse, but my one close friend confronted me about a time when she was sexually abused recently. I knew it was a hard topic for her to talk about so I applauded her strength for being able to re-live that moment. It can't be easy. I tried helping her feel better but honestly, there is nothing I can do. The emotional damage has already been done. That one incident has scarred her for the rest of her life. The only way to possibly help them is to keep uniting in the fight against sexual abuse. Though that won't change anything, it will show them they are not alone and they shouldn't be afraid to speak up. It's also been proved that most sexual abusers themselves have been sexually abused, they tend to repeat those actions because they are psychologically damaged from all the abuse. It's a domino effect.
The lecture about Joe Paterno really opened my eyes, I was seeing it from the victims’ point of view. Obviously, it was not Paterno’s fault at all but he was a huge power figure in our community and he could have done so much more to end it. I might have been more biased against Paterno if I was a victim myself, but since I’m not I have to say that nobody but him understands the situation he was in. If someone came up to me and was to tell me someone I trusted for so long was sexually abusing young boys, I wouldn’t want to believe it. It’s wrong to do so, but I wouldn’t believe it until the facts were straightened out and there was proof. Paterno still went to higher authorities to inform them and they were supposed to take care of it from then on. A PA prosecutor recently commented on the situation and said that Paterno did what any other teacher in PA have done in these situations, if he got fired then they all should. The prosecutor goes on to say that the police hold back investigation details because that’s what they are supposed to do, so Paterno did everything he was supposed to and he should not be held accountable for the entire situation. It’s understandable how the victims’ feel though, he could have helped them out so much and prevented more kids from getting sexually abused. But he was told the situation would be taken care of. He’s not god, he’s human and humans make mistakes. I really do feel for the victims though, the only monster in this whole crime is Sandusky and I just feel like that wasn’t centered on enough in the news. Many ignorant people still go around saying Paterno was the pedophile. It’s those people who anger me, who need to get their facts straight. Sandusky should be thoroughly punished for what he did, but I feel like Paterno got more punished than he did with all the humiliation.
With all that ranting, I would like to state once more that though I don’t feel like Paterno deserved all the criticism he got it does not mean that it makes it okay that he didn’t do more. It is not okay that all these boys were sexually abused, every time I think about it makes me sick to my stomach. I will join the fight against sexual abuse and I want the victims to know that it is okay to talk about it because they have a lot of supporters to protect them. People have learned from this situation, no doubt about that.
As an education major, the scandal hit close to home and really opened my eyes to events that could be going on in my students’ lives. When I think about the recent events and sexual abuse in general, I immediately picture my future classroom and all of my students sitting at their desks. Then I think, “How am I ever going to be able to tell if my students are victims of sexual abuse?” I want to be able to provide support and be there to listen to those students who are victims, but how do I know who they are? This question seems to always arise in my mind and I want to know how to recognize which students might be facing sexual abuse when they are not under my supervision. When I become a teacher, I hope to spend a lot of time getting to know each and every student that walks into my classroom. By getting to know each child individually, I hope to be able to pick up on signs that something unusual may be happening in a child’s life. In order to pick up these signs, I plan on learning more about what sexual abuse may look like in my classroom (i.e. warning signs, a child’s behaviors, etc.). I don’t want to be known as “that teacher that did not take action when a student in her class was being sexually abused.” If a student wants to talk to me, I will devote my time to listening and seeking further help if necessary. I do not ever want to turn a child away because I am too busy. This conveys the idea that I do not care enough about what is going on in his/her life and that their problems are not important. If I do not make myself available for each and every one of my students, who else can they turn to? I may be the only person they trust and if I turn them away, they might never get the help they need and the sexual abuse may continue. Therefore, I plan to personally make myself available for my students and/or any student in my school/neighborhood that wants to talk. In addition, I desire to learn more about sexual abuse and what the signs might look like in my classroom. By knowing what some of the physical signs may look like, what behaviors I may see in the students, and what emotions the students may exhibit, I will be able to better identify a possible victim and provide the support they need. If I am able to recognize these students, I will not only be able to provide support/help but also understand why they may be acting the way they are. For example, if they began the year acting well behaved and getting all of their work done on time and all of a sudden they begin sitting back quietly, not getting anything accomplished, I will recognize this and approach the situation differently than I might have otherwise. It is my hope that sexual abuse will not go unnoticed in my classroom and that I can recognize these victims and provide the necessary help/support they need.
I agree with the girl in class that was talking about Coach Joe and the whole scandal that happened in November. It was not right to have them put the whole blame on him like he was the fall guy. They did not think but they just did what everyone else did and put the blame on him because he only went to one person that could handle the problem. The thing is the person that was supposed to get the problem fixed did not do the right thing, instead the one that is at fault only gets a slap on the wrist and gets told not to do it again. Throughout the whole thing I feel so bad for his family and what they had to be put through. The victims that came up in the paper were very upset that the wrong person got most of the blame then the other person did. The thing is the person that did this has no respect for the victims or for himself. The way that you saw it all over the TV’s it makes you sick to think that a grown person is with young children in a locker room shower. It just sickens me because I knew a couple people that have little kids and they get sexual abused. One that I know she was only 5 years old and she never the area that I live and the thing is that I worked with her mother for a year. We became close as friends and she told me what had happened. I could imagine the horror that kid went through, she was scared, alone and had no idea what was going on. The sad part to that is this person was a neighbor that the family knew. This little girl was never the same after that; the way her parents found her was when they went into the bedroom to look for her, they saw a dark shadow under the bed in the corner curled up in a ball crying. The rest of the story was just too much horrifying to listen to. The other one did not have that much story to it because my mom’s friend did not want to talk about. My guess is that for her to talk about brings up very bad memories so we left it alone. All that I am trying to say is that it is not right for someone to take the fall for something that they did not do. I all so think that everyone made the wrong decision to fast. When that happens everyone is goes crazy and we get the bad comments that people make, also the bad news that happened and no one could ever forget that day. It would be a long time before any one forgets.
When Sam brought up the point about the possibly high number of sexual abuse victims even in our own classrooms it really opened my eyes. It’s not that I was completely in the dark about how prevalent sexual abuse is, I guess I just never really stopped to think about how likely it is that many people around me have been victims of sexual abuse in some form. I think it’s equally important to assume that there are a number of people in the class that have sexually abused someone. I personally have never been around a situation of sexual abuse and it worries me that some of the people that are close to me may have been and are scared to let anyone know. Because I haven’t been through what they have been through and I can’t possibly imagine the effect that their experiences have had on their lives, I understand that the amount of help I can offer them is limited. I think the most important thing that we can try to do to help victims of sexual abuse is to try to help them trust someone again. If someone is sexually abused I can’t imagine how hard it would be to ever trust a person again. It is the responsibility of the people who care about them to try to slowly rebuild that ability to believe in someone. The victims need to know that there are people in the world that truly care about them and that would do anything to protect them. I know that many victims of sexual abuse feel as though they are worthless and that is why they have been abused. I think if the people who love them can make them realize that this is false then it is the greatest help they can provide. We need to try to make the victims feel comfortable enough within their friends and family to tell their stories and not keep everything held inside. No matter how slowly the healing process is, we as human beings have the responsibility to make these victims realize that they are regular people and there is nothing wrong with them. The thing that gets me about the Sandusky case is that based on the grand jury reports he clearly showed his victims a great amount of affection. This wasn’t just simple rape he took these boys to a lot of places and formed actually relationships with them. And the scary thing is I don’t know if that makes it worse for the victims or better. I would maybe even think that Sandusky’s victims will never ever be able to trust another person fully in their lives. And that is a sad and horrible idea.
I believe the larger question at hand is how we go forth in recognizing the victims of sexual abuse (not only in the Penn State scandal, but also around he globe. As we talked about in class, the idea of child sexual abuse is often an awkward and ignored topic because it makes people feel uncomfortable. Personally, I do not know anyone firsthand who has been a victim of sexual abuse, as this is true for many other people. However, as Sam mentioned in class, many people could be around me who have been abused in the past and I will never know and the victims may also have a hard time labeling what they went through as ‘sexual abuse’ because they may be confused about the exact definition. Regardless, I feel like the issue of sexual abuse is generally ignored by society. Going forward, I think as a community we need to make more people aware of the issue of sexual abuse. We need to be made aware of the number of victims (it’s the only way we can put a stop to child abuse!) After the scandal broke at Penn State, some student rioted. However, more students gathered at Old Main for a candlelight vigil for the victims of the child abuse. There was not a dry eye. This is a start to recognizing the victims. With just a simple candlelight vigil, the Penn State community offered our support and lent a helping hand to those suffering in the crowd (perhaps those who have been sexually abused as well). I believe just knowing that people care is a huge thing for the victims of sexual abuse.
In the future, I believe that we can create more programs to assist those who have been sexually abused. A place in schools and in universities where those who believe they have been sexually abused can go and speak in a judgment free environment. By addressing sexual abuse and forcing it to be in the open, I believe that people will be less likely to hide a scandal if they happen to stumble upon one in the future. Instead, they will put a stop to it immediately and stop it from happening in the future. Additionally, I would like to thank the girl who spoke out in class about her experiences and Joe Pa. It took a lot of bravery to speak in front of such a large class and it was a comfort to hear that she also did not fully understand why Joe Paterno was blamed for something he did not do. She raised the idea that the system is flawed and that until it is fixed, sexual abuse will continue. Like I stated before, perhaps the more we talk about sexual abuse victims, the chance to stop sexual abuse will increase.
Penn State is an amazing and powerful university. After this scandal, we did not fall apart. Instead we raised money for the victims of sexual abuse and rallied behind our school (although a few students chose to riot…). I believe that in the future we will continue to carry the high standards and values of this university forever (although it won’t be the same without Joe Paterno leading our football team).
Personally, I believe that children/victims of sexual abuse happen frequently all around the world. I have friends who shared with me that they had been sexually abused at a young age. When my friends had sat down and told me about their experiences with this topic, I felt the need to help them out and be their for moral support. People of all ages are going through these rough times in their lives. Being a Penn State student and transferring up last semester, I experienced so many tragic events going on between “The Sandusky Case” and Joe Paterno's death. When I was reading through the Sandusky Case, what shocked me was how long the sex scandal was going on for. 20 years! That blows my mind. The sad thing is, is that ESPN and people all over the world right off the bat bashed Joe Paterno. He alone, had done so much for the Penn State University as a whole and some people are not giving him any credit because of the sex scandal that happened. He had dedicated so much to the Penn State organization that Penn State named a part of the library named after Joe Pa. I feel like Joe Pa should have done more than just notify the Athletic Director, Tim Curley, and the director of business and finance, Gary Shultz, about the sex scandal. I think he should have went to the police and other faculty members. Joe Paterno was honest and never lied when he was a mentor, coach, teacher, and role model to thousands of people, even during the sex scandal. While Sandusky, who still admits to the public, states that he is not guilty of his actions of sexually abusing children. This makes my stomach cringe because he helped Joe Paterno by being an assistant coach and for all these years he went behind Joe's back and destroyed his career. Joe Paterno's death was a huge culture shock to Penn State students, alumni, teachers, staff and others. Sam Richards says “We are all going to die” which is true. The way I look at life is how death comes when we least expect it and I feel we need to live life to the fullest.
After releasing the incident of the sex scandal at Penn State University, Syracuse's assistant basketball coach, Bernie Fine, and his wife, Laurie Fine, were fulling around with some of the ball boys. The worst part is, is that they had evidence of the sex scandal because ESPN recorded a phone interview of the wife telling the story about the sex scandal that her husband was involved in. She told the reporters that her husband has a lot of issues and that he is a sick man, but what she didn't say was how she also was involved in the sex scandal along with her husband.
It's hard to actively help a cause such a victims of sexual abuse. Most victims aren't open about it, or maybe they're in denial to some extent. I know I probably wouldn't want to talk about something like that. I would find it embarrassing. I'm not saying that victims should be embarrassed by what happened; that would be awful. I can however, to some extent, sympathize with people who might be ashamed of it, even though it has never happened to me. After having the issue of sexual abuse thrust into the lives of everyone at Penn State, most of us recognize that we should do something to prevent it, or help people recover from it. So if I want to make myself more open to talking about it. I've always been a good listener, and I wouldn't have to fake interest because i care about what others care about. Maybe I do, indeed, know some people who have been sexually abused (I don't know if I do or not), but if I am approached or presented with a scenario in which I am talking with someone who is a victim of sexual abuse, I will do my best to be there for them because I'm sure such a horrific event has to take a serious toll on a person. Talking things out can help more than most people realize, and maybe through being open on both ends of the conversation I can help people move on from there bad experiences, giving them closure. Maybe we can all try to change our attitude toward sexual abuse victims too. I feel like they're sometimes not treated as normal people, as if it's there fault that they were abused. We should all avoid making inappropriate jokes about the issue, as well. Some celebrities make pretty insensitive remarks regarding sexual abuse. This needs to stop. We should all accept victims into our lives with open arms, because I can't imagine anything worse than being a victim, and being isolated as a result of their horrific past. So, in the future, I will do my best to "be there" for anyone in need of someone to talk to. In addition, I encourage everyone else to take up a similar attitude toward relationships with sexual abuse victims.
Personally, I have never known anyone who has come forward and told me or anyone else of being sexually abused by someone else. For all I know I could have multiple friends who were sexually abused at some time but they don't want to talk about it for different reasons. Personally I have never really thought about how I can go forward in recognizing victims of sexual abuse until this recent class. And to be 100 percent honest, I don't think I have any clue as to how to go about and recognize the victims. I know there are organizations out there like Prevent Child Abuse PA and RAINN that raise money to help prevent this and to help victims. I distinctly remember after the scandal broke at the Nebraska game there were people all over outside the stadium collecting money for these organizations and I remember throwing some money in. I also distinctly remember after about a week it was announced that over 200,000 dollars were raised. I guess this is a start to helping recognize victims, not only from the Sandusky scandal, but of abuse all over the country and world. But to be honest, I remember thinking that it was great we raised that much money, but the same question kept coming back to me, what is that money used for? I still don't really know the answer to that, is it used to help educate people on sexual abuse and how to come about reporting it or to help support victims? Personally I have no idea but I will continue to support organizations like these if it seems like it helps victims and to prevent further abuse. Personally the best I can do for victims if I know them closely is to be there in support for them. For other victims like those of the Sandusky scandal, the best I think that I can do is to keep them in my prayers and hope that justice is done and that this can all be put behind them and they can lead normal lives again.
Lastly, the girl in class who told us of her unfortunate story, I think she can serve as inspiration to many other people who may be afraid to come out and tell people. This girl told an entire class of about 400 plus students about unfortunate events that took place in her life and that takes a lot of guts. But it can serve as inspiration for someone else to come out and maybe just tell 1 or 2 other people who are very close to them. Also when she voiced her support for Paterno, I don't know what it was but something made me happy when I heard that. The media keeps trying to make those who support Paterno seem like evil people who don't support the victims because the media claims that victims would never support Paterno. But to hear someone who was a victim at some point in their life voice support for Joe just made me happy to hear someone completely opposite of what the media tries to make people think.
For me personally, I guess it is to recognize the signs of sexual abuse. I really want to be a pediatric physician assistant, so I feel like there is a huge possibility that I will encounter children who are being abused. I also should be an adult that children look up to and a mentor who they can tell me that they are not being treated the way they should. I think working in pediatrics will allow me to be the adult that can make a difference in a child’s life. From everything that has happened recently, and from going to Joe Paterno’s memorial, there’s one phrase that has really stuck out –“make a difference”. JoePa made a difference in countless lives, and scandal aside, I think that is what he wanted us as Penn State students to take that lesson and live by it. I can make a difference in a child’s life by educating children what is right for an adult to do and what is wrong. Children need to understand that they can speak out and to not be embarrassed or scared for doing so. It’s so sad to see and hear all of the jokes about child molesters and what not because it is belittling the fact that sexual abuse is something serious. By making jokes about sexual abuse, it shows a bad message to children because they might feel embarrassed for speaking out since it is a joke to everyone else. All the people making stupid jokes need to realize they are the bad guys too. They are being hypocritical because they are part of the reason why children may not speak of their abuse. There’s always a silver lining in everything. I think the silver lining in this whole Sandusky thing is that child abuse and happen anywhere by anyone. It is not as publicized and many people do not speak out. Sexual abuse on children happen everywhere and people don’t understand that. Look at Syracuse. It is a very distinguished school as well, and yet they are going through a similar situation. Until now, sexual abuse was though of as very rare on children. I hope some good comes out of this case and more children learn about what is inappropriate for an adult to do. I know when I am older and have kids I will make sure they know what is right and wrong when it comes to sexual abuse because you really cannot trust anyone. I hope in the future more children will speak out when they are being sexually abused because it can make a difference in not only their lives, but in the lives of others who may be sexually abused in the future.
As far as this particular question goes, I really do not know what to think. As any decent individual would think, I am of the opinion that people who molest or sexually abuse are among the lowest on the earth. In my mind I want to do anything I can to prevent these terrible acts, but Im not sure exactly If I could be capable. Now this may sound like Im a bad person with no moral conscience to allow something like this to go on, but there is a story backing me up.
As nobody would know, I have two older siblings which are both women. They are almost polar opposites of one another and think nothing alike. One of them had a boyfriend which was kind of a tool. Long story short, this one guy sort of took advantage of my sister and my sister was too afraid to do anything about it. To this day I don't think anyone in my family knows that I knew it was going on before they did. I was only nine years old and thats why I think I didn't do anything about it. Honestly my sisters are so opposite that I wouldn't be surprised if I heard about the other one beating the shit out of some guy and him being afraid to do anything about it. However, It isn't about her and the fact is I knew about the current situation and did nothing about it. I personally blame it on my age and being too afraid to speak out. You would be lying if you said you had that kind of courage at that age.
So given my past experience, Id like to hope that my courage has upped a bit and I would report such abuse. Not only would I report it, but if I personally saw it happening then I would take matters into my own hands. I'd also like to think that I could have some sympathy to offer the victim since Ive seen it first hand. To end with, I thought it was courages as hell what that girl in class did. To speak about what happened to her was amazing. I don't think I could stand up and ask a question let alone talk about a personal experience that hurts me greatly. Kudos to her.
Child abuse. What comes to your mind when you hear those two words? Is it a personal experience, sadness, anger, Penn State and Jerry Sandusky? Maybe it’s all of the above. When Sam was talking about how many of us in Soc 119 have suffered child abuse I was astonished. I never realized how common such a terrible act is. I realized that the person next to me may have experienced child abuse for all I knew. There she was just sitting there with her iPhone like anyone else in the class, but she could be hiding something of her past that is just too emotional to let go of. I realized at this point that child abuse is just as common for children as going to the playground; it is sad, but true.
The recent occurrences at Penn State have really gotten me to think about the harmful effects of child abuse. Let’s put just the Penn State situation into perspective. Because one man with a sick mind committed terrible acts, good men were fired, a prestigious university has lost its reputation, a town is left heartbroken, and most notably, those young boys and their families have been scarred for life. The damages of child abuse never end. The victims will have those emotional scars until the day they die, and Penn State University will be rebuilding its reputation for years to come. One of the worst things about the entire situation is that these victims who need healing and support have been put to the back burner. This is not to say that the effects the scandal has had on Penn State are not important, but I feel as if these poor young men deserve reparations before our university has any sort of progress.
Keeping all of this in mind, I thought about what I can personally do to recognize child abuse victims. As a current student here thrown into the ripples of the effects of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I attended the candlelight vigil for the abused victims and purchased the stop child abuse shirt for the “blueout” at the football game. This is a start, but I know I can do so much more. Just today, someone in my discussion group admitted that she had been sexually abused as a child, and I was stunned. No one had ever told me that before, let alone been willing to share it with an entire class. I realized then that if a person is open about the harmful events of their past, it makes the healing process easier. In order to help in this sense, I can always be a good listener whenever anyone wants to share an experience they have had. I will listen, and they will begin to heal. I also think I can personally make a difference in my future career. As an elementary school teacher it will be my job, both legally and morally, to report anything suspicious regarding child abuse to my superiors. This will eventually help recognize the situation, heal the child, have proper punishment given to the accused, and ultimately stop child abuse. I hope to make a difference in the world, and this will be a decent start.
Hearing Dr. Richard's lecture on the Sandusky incident really helped me open my mind and lead me to discover a new way of thinking about everything that had happened. Before the class, I was constantly struggling with which side to take and whether or not I could feel sorry for both sides (Joe Paterno being fired and the poor alleged victims). I try to put myself in the victim's shoes and understand their pain and anger towards everyone who was involved in the alleged cover up and even more anger at everyone who supported the people who tried to cover it up. However, then I would hear stories of Joe Pa and realize how amazing of a man he was and how he changed so many lives, and I would think, "There is no way Joe Pa could have known the full extent of this and did not try to do more. There must be something we are all missing. I shuffled with these two conflicting ideas for a while because I felt that I could not choose one without betraying the other. Yet after hearing the lectures, I have learned that I do not have to choose a side. I can mourn for the victims and understand that Joe Pa even stated that he should have done more, and yet I can still love Joe Paterno for all of the donations, love, and support he has given to the university.
Also, I loved what Dr. Richard said about how Joe's last big contribution to the world was turning a spotlight on child abuse. Because of everything that happened, thousands of dollars were raised to promote awareness and help to stop child abuse. This incident gave several people the courage to stand up and say that they themselves were abused when they were younger. Now, we need to do what Joe Pa would have wanted us to do. We cannot just forget about all of this and sweep it under the rug; we need to expand upon it. We need to make sure kids know that they can tell somebody else when this happens to them and learn from Joe Pa's possible mistake so that if we ever hear about or see a child being abused we do what we can to make sure the child is safe.
Penn State students are already largely involved in THON to help raise awareness and millions of dollars for children suffering from cancer. Now however, we must also focus our attention on preventing child abuse. The scandal and riot from November have tarnished Penn State's proud name, and now it is our job to fix this and remind everyone that Penn State is an honorable place where students learn about integrity and honesty along with their other subjects.
I think the best way to remember the victims is by simply not forgetting them. It seems like a recurring theme in sexual assault cases that in stead of worry about those that are abused, we would rather concentrate on the attackers (Or Paterno). So after those that are guilty are locked away, everyone seems to forget about the victims, the young boys that had their lives flipped upside down. It is unjust to forget them. We need to stand with them and show them that they can get through this, that although there life has been altered, they will in fact be OK. Only when our society as a whole wakes up and takes a stand to recognize sexual assault more openly, can change happen. I think there needs to be a change for stricter laws and stricter punishments to protect helpless children. I think that would be the greatest way to remember these children from this case.
I can’t speak from personal experience about sexual abuse, because I have never been in a position of such actions. And although statistics would say I’m lying, no one close to me has been sexually abused either, to my knowledge. I am thankful for this but at the same time I am very aware that sexual abuse goes on in today’s world and I am sure I have come in contact with someone who is a victim of horrible actions. I had always been aware of sexual abuse, but not to the extent I am now as a result of the scandal that occurred at Penn State with Jerry Sandusky. Sometimes, I think it takes a monster like this to raise awareness about the issue. While I am in no way backing up any of his actions whatsoever, I am saying that it made this problem much more recognized throughout the country and even around the world. Jerry Sandusky is not the first person to ever sexually abuse someone and it actually occurs much more often than most people think.
Although often it does not happen to the extent that events in the Sandusky scandal did, it still is a major problem worldwide and needs to be brought to attention. This scandal at Penn State has certainly brought me more awareness, as I did not realize the extent to which it occurred. Some of the statistics really blew my mind. For example, Sam said in class that one in every nine people has experienced some form of sexual abuse. That may not be the actual statistic but it was something of that nature and I couldn’t believe it. I don’t understand how such horrible acts could occur so frequently and what makes it worse is that most of the time it goes unnoticed. In a way I think that maybe the scandal here at Penn State is a microcosm for sexual abuse across the country. While definitely not a small event, it proves that so much can be done about it, but rarely anything is. For example, there were so many people here at Penn State that could have put an end to the horrible acts being committed by Sandusky but no one did until it was way too late. Coach Joe Paterno admitted that he made a mistake and that it was one of the “sorrows of his life.” He should have done more and spoken up, but he is only one of countless people in the same position. While the media portrayed him as the bad guy, he only made the mistake that people all over the world make, and that is not speaking up about sexual abuse. Awareness needs to be raised about the issue, and this case at Penn State may have done just that.
When I looked at this blog post I read some of what other people had written. I saw that a lot of people had written about the girl that stood up in class that shared her experience and had written about the scandal involving Joe Paterno just highlighting the child sexual abuse problem. I was looking at all of these posts and all I could think was that these people just don’t get it. They think they know all about this sexual abuse stuff but they don’t. So many people were trying to relate the girl in class and the national media together but it does not work like that. The point I’m trying to make is that there is no possible way we could understand what the girl who spoke up in class went through or start to understand how this scandal affected sexual abuse among children. The national media did not once talk about these kids unless they were talking about Joe Paterno being a disgrace to the game of football. Even though you guys might believe that this made it better for these kids, it did not. Now not only did sexual abuse get a backseat to Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky, I’m not so sure the national recognition was such a good thing. In my opinion we did not go forward with this issue, but backward. Victims do not want to be thrown into the spotlight for something most of them would like to keep a secret from most of the public. These kinds of situations are memories these children want to forget. One of my good friends at Penn State was a rape victim herself. She has only told a few people about it and her parents don’t even know. In addition to these kids getting unwanted attention, the foundation that Sandusky created, The Second Mile, will most likely be dissolved because of his major role in it. That is just hurting even more kids not just sexually abused kids. What I took from this experience is that child sexual abuse happens regardless of how much we try to stop it because there are perverted people out there. No matter how much we raise awareness it is one of those things like rape; it can never be stopped. I’ve learned to just respect these people and kids and to not try to understand them, but to just feel sorry for them and respect their privacy about their situations. I’ve tried to understand the situation with my friend who was a victim of rape but it has proved impossible. Going into the future, I know that while there is nothing I can do to prevent child sexual abuse, I can at least listen, respect their wishes, and not try to understand and pity them. That is how I would make a difference in the world of child sexual abuse.
I am just one person, so when a question like this is brought to my attention I really have look deep with in myself and think what can I do. With such a serous and scary topic I really had to put myself in the shoes of the victims all over the world and I still really couldn’t even imaging the suffering , the pain , and everything the victims who have struggled with sexual abuse go through .
In class when Sam said that one hole section in our class room could be filled up with people who have been affected by sexual abuse . You always here about things like this happening but not knowing anyone who has been affected by sexual abuse I feel like people bush it off. That’s something I have done in my life. After thinking that someone sitting next to me in class could have been sexual abused or knows someone who has been, blew my mind and really was very upsetting to think about.
I feel like more school should talk about something like this a lot more in school and really get us more informed. I still find it really hard to know what I can do to help. I would say something along the lines of finding a organization and donating money but I know I would be lieing if I said that . So instead how I would like to help and make a difference in supporting sex abuse victims with ribbons and bumper stickers to recognize the victims . Its would be great if there were more fundraiser such as selling tee-shirts where the benefits go to help the victims and groups. I thinks its wrong that a lot of victims feel like that cant talk to anyone about whats happened to them, Its sad that they have to struggle with whats happened as well as act like it never did .
I believe there should be a lot more groups where the victims can go and talk and help each other. There needs to be a better way for victims to come forward after it happen instead of wait till years later . Its scary because theirs a lot of victims that have not even come out yet.
Just being in this class really made me think about everything that has happened here at Penn state and it really opened my eyes as well as made me change my mind about a lot of things. I hope justice is sureved for victims and they get the support they need to move on.
It is difficult to answer the question of what a single person can do to effectively recognize and support victims of child abuse. There is clearly a strong social opinion that child abuse is among the very worst and most reprehensible of crimes that a person could commit. There are organizations and groups created in order to raise awareness of these crimes and to demonstrate a sense of support for the victims. While participation with or donation to these organizations are fantastic modes of support for the victims, it is challenging to think of ways that I, as an individual, can react to this entire situation and go forward to effectively support these ( and all) victims of child abuse. I found it interesting to learn how common child abuse really is during Tuesday’s class. With such dramatic statistics, it is emotionally difficult to consider how many people who are close to me have gone through something like this, regardless of the degree. As a friend and a family member, I will be certain that I can fulfill the role of a supporter or as someone that can be confided in. I am very lucky to have never experienced any dramatic abuse throughout my childhood, but imagine that if I had, I would benefit the most through the knowledge that I had a strong and trusted support system. This could be true for any experience, not just child abuse. I guess you can never really know for sure what any person has gone through, and how it has affected them. Keeping this in mind, I think that the most effective thing that I can personally do to effectively support the victims of child abuse is to be sure that I am fully supportive of all of the people that are close to me, and to be sensitive to anyone that I may not know. You can never know what stays with a person, or how it will affect them. Beyond the support that I can give to those who I am close to, I think that it is important to keep things in perspective, particularly with respect to all that has happened here at Penn State over the past few months. I have had a very hard time establishing a concrete position on everything that has happened. I believe that Joe Paterno was a great man who has done great things for this community. I also believe that he made a mistake in not doing more than he did, whether or not he fulfilled his legal duties. I don’t think that his mistake should become his legacy. However, I feel that there have been equal or greater public displays of support for Joe Pa (even prior to this past week) than there have been for the victims of this tragedy. This isn’t a terribly original outlook, but I feel that it’s important that we remember to maintain the appropriate perspective here. Keeping these perspectives is a step in showing support of the victims.
Being at Penn State during the Sandusky scandal has not only changed my views on a sensitive topic, but also affected the lives of the thousands of people involved. From students, administrators, those involved, and most importantly, the victims being affected, almost every new piece of news coming out is negative. Watching the media eat it up and use the misfortune of children as a way to turn this into a soap opera about Joe Paterno didn’t help. Child sexual abuse is a very serious issue, however, it is so personal that it often gets brushed over or ignored. Given the statistics, everyone should know at least one person who is a victim of childhood sexual abuse. If I hadn’t heard those statistics, I would have assumed a much lower amount simply based on what I have heard from people I know. Crimes like this will always be a personal issue, but there is a certain stigma surrounding the issue. The trauma victims experience can cause them to blame themselves and develop problems that otherwise would never have been there. The types of people who go after young children to exploit their youth and naivete are sick and deserve any punishment they get. People are often victimized by people close to them as well, leading to issues with trust and betrayal. Punishment alone isn’t enough though, since it occurs after damage has been done. We definitely need better ways to handle situations like this once they do occur in order to prevent them from happening again. I’m not sure how some of the people involved were able to look a man in the eye and do business daily knowing what happened right on campus, but there is a serious issue as far as reporting and handling alleged complaints. I think there should be a greater emphasis on the victims in cases like this instead of everyone focusing on what has been done. The vast majority of conversations I have had about this scandal centered on Joe Paterno, the firing of Paterno, and the riots. Very few people have stopped to talk about what happened to the kids and how to look forward from this. The donations made to RAINN were great and definitely made a positive impact in many lives, but the issue of awareness still hasn’t been fully addressed. This situation is a perfect example of how the grey area with reporting these issues needs to be resolved. Joe Paterno ‘technically’ reported to the campus police and did fulfill his legal obligation, but that means nothing when considering Sandusky was able to continue committing crimes on Penn State’s campus. It is good that people who know about these crimes are being held personally responsible, but there should be a more clear-cut method for reporting and handling alleged child abuse so that children don’t have to suffer the abuse itself and then bring it all back during a drawn-out, highly public trial.
I think that the most important thing to prevent sexual abuse or any other type of abuse is to raise awareness. It is important for the victims to know that they are not alone, and that there are people out there that can help them. It’s a matter of showing support and letting them know that they don’t have to put up with the things they do. Most of the time victims are afraid to speak up, which is a huge problem because a lot of tragedies can be avoided if handled in time. People who constantly go through abuse their whole lives turn bitter and suicidal as time goes on. We have to help these victims. Anyone who has a good conscience should help if they see any type of abuse going on. In the case of Joe Paterno, he did report to his boss what he had heard was going on. But these were just rumors at the time, even now they have been unable to fully prosecute Sandusky. Joe Paterno himself became a victim of the media, because all the media wants to do is report about scandals and destroys people’s lives. The media is filled with muckrakers that will say whatever they can at the expense of another’s image in order to sell. The general public is to blame for this, because quite honestly scandalous topics sell. People looking from the outside in will only see Paterno as a plain football coach and not for the inspirational man that he really was. The Joe Paterno that all Penn Staters have known and loved throughout the years, is not the same one that outsiders have come to know. People from other universities don’t know of the impact that he has had on the school, or the many donations that he and his wife had made to better the school. Few people even knew about his Grand Experiment, and the graduation rate of his football players, which is the highest in the nation.
With regards to the question asked in class of whether I would sit on the side of a family member being convicted of a crime, or on the side of the victim, I would sit on the side of my family member. Even though this person has done something wrong, in the end he/she is still family and being part of the family means supporting them in good times and in bad. Don’t get me wrong, sitting on their side does not mean that I support/promote what they have done in any way shape of form. It doesn’t mean that I don’t sympathize with the victims either. I really don’t think a person should be antagonized just of because where they sit, that should really be irrelevant.
How do we go forward with the issue of sexual abuse? Well, personally and thankfully I do not have much experience myself or dealing with people who have dealt with it. I think it is a subject that we must urge people to speak up if it happens to them or speak out if they hear of something about a possible assault. I think sexual assault is something extremely hard to talk about if it happens to you but it is also something that usually requires the victim to need help. Help that could, sometimes, save their lives. It is difficult to say what we should do going forward because anything I think we should have done differently in the Penn State case has been said before. Every time something like this happens we always say how we should handle a situation like this going forward, but nothing ever changes. So yeah we should speak up if we hear or witness something. Yeah we should make people more aware of it. And yeah both of those things have been said before. I don’t mean to be too cynical but how many times are we going to say “what should we do going forward?” The simple reality is, is that there are people out there who feel differently than you and I. Some people think their social responsibility is different than what you think your social responsibility is and therefore when presented with an issue that they must handle, they will handle it differently. To be honest what will making people more aware of it even do? I mean I don’t have any experience in that field and I am sure there is more sexual assault victims around me than I realize but okay…now what. I don’t need to be informed about it to know that if I hear something I am going to speak up; if something happens to me I am going to take action. People freak out when something like this happens on a national scale but what people don’t realize is that this stuff happens all the time. So why now? Why does something like this have to happen for people to want to start and take action to prevent it from happening again? Keep in mind that the action they want to take consists of ideas that have already been thought of and actions that have already been taken. I realize this can be seen as a negative response. Almost seeming like this is a lost cause. But my message here is the only thing I think we can realistically do is be the change ourselves. Make a difference by handling the situation correctly; God forbid you ever encounter anything like that.
How do we go forward with the issue of sexual abuse? Well, personally and thankfully I do not have much experience myself or dealing with people who have dealt with it. I think it is a subject that we must urge people to speak up if it happens to them or speak out if they hear of something about a possible assault. I think sexual assault is something extremely hard to talk about if it happens to you but it is also something that usually requires the victim to need help. Help that could, sometimes, save their lives. It is difficult to say what we should do going forward because anything I think we should have done differently in the Penn State case has been said before. Every time something like this happens we always say how we should handle a situation like this going forward, but nothing ever changes. So yeah we should speak up if we hear or witness something. Yeah we should make people more aware of it. And yeah both of those things have been said before. I don’t mean to be too cynical but how many times are we going to say “what should we do going forward?” The simple reality is, is that there are people out there who feel differently than you and I. Some people think their social responsibility is different than what you think your social responsibility is and therefore when presented with an issue that they must handle, they will handle it differently. To be honest what will making people more aware of it even do? I mean I don’t have any experience in that field and I am sure there is more sexual assault victims around me than I realize but okay…now what. I don’t need to be informed about it to know that if I hear something I am going to speak up
Child sex abuse is a very delicate subject matter and it is one that must be handled very carefully. There are two ways to go about attacking the issue of child sexual abuse. One is on a personal level and another is on a societal level. There are very limited ways to talk to a victim a sexual abuse. Many might not want to talk about their incident because it can strike up very bad memories which can lead to panic attacks and emotional breakdowns. The objective of the personal level is to open yourself to them by means of communication and to show that you are a person that someone can vent to and will not judge them. It is imperative to be the listener when a victim is willing to talk with you. This is to create thought patterns for each person. For the victim, it will make them feel important and it allows them to open up and tell their story. For the listener, it creates a direct flow from the speaker’s mouth to the listener’s eardrums and then it reaches the listener’s conscious mind. With this comes a keyword when communicating with someone. This is empathy. Becoming so consumed in the story that you couldn’t even imagine how the victim has been bottling these emotions up inside them all this time. As for the societal perspective, there are many different types of ways to create a positive environment for victims of child abuse. One thing we can do is educate people about the issue of sexual abuse. Teach others the statistics, ways to spot a victim of sexual abuse, how to report the abuse, et cetera. Another thing we must do on the societal level is to encourage victims to report their assailants instead of letting them go free and attack more children. Teach the victims how important it is to make sure that pedophiles don’t do these types of things again. If these types of crimes go unreported, the pedophiles carry on with their actions and the victims won’t be able to seek the type of counseling that can help mend the incurable wounds of their experiences. These crimes are so difficult to handle because they involve children who have been told to respect authority. When they are being violated by adults, they begin to feel uncomfortable and start to question their own self-worth. They lose their innocence and become confused about what to do. It is important to tell children the necessity of talking to their parents. That line of communication is vital for these instances. When the crime occurs, the child can go to his/her parents. From there, the parents can hire a lawyer who can keep the child’s identity anonymous, thus bringing about justice in the world.
I know that this is a difficult question to answer and its one that I have been struggling with since the scandal broke. I think that the most important thing about the scandal is that it is important to remember that there were so many victims and that this should really be about them. What happened to them is disgusting and disturbing to think about, but its important that we do not forget the real crime here.
With the scandal coming to light it brings up questions of what should we do? Both if we were the ones to report it, and to help the victim. Personally I think one of the most important things that can be done for the victims is to just be open about it. I don't know how to help them, but letting them know that they have our support and that we can provide a way or a place for them to vent must help.
I think its also important going forward that we acknowledge that things like this unfortunately happen far more often than one would think. We as a society need to accept that this is a real problem and hopefully come up with ways or mechanisms to cope and deal with it moving forward. I think the biggest step we could make here is to just acknowledge it exists. It should be talked about more openly so that the idea is less shocking and more down to earth and close to home. Maybe by being more familiar with the subject, we will have a better idea of how to handle it so that hopefully something like allowing a predator to have free range will never happen again.
I feel that maybe it is not my place to say this but I think that the first step in doing anything to help anyone who has been abused, be it sexually or otherwise, is for that person to feel ready to open up. From there, I don't think we actually need to do too much at all. As a culture we seem to love to form committees or create support groups but ultimately this just moves the issue as it were, into someone else's lap. Instead of trying to make more of what we already have, we should take it upon ourselves to try and carry each other's burdens. Be it in the name of religion, "brotherhood" or "sisterhood," friendship, or anything else we as individuals should be working to make ourselves approachable. We should be working to create an aura about ourselves that says, "it's ok, you can trust me. I will carry your troubles so that you can catch your breath."
I know I try to create this feeling within every connection I build because I want those who know me to know that even if I have just met them, I will do all that I can for them. I am not a victim of sexual abuse, though I have someone close to me who was, but I have been a long standing target of psychological and emotion abuse. I cannot claim to know the horrors or the feelings that come with being violated, but I do understand what it means to not have all of the pillars of trust and support I was told to depend on in my family. I know how much it sucks to have to choose to just totally bar the truth from my mind and constantly spew up half-truths to keep the peace. At the end of that all I look forward to is sharing my burden with someone outside, someone not engaged within my family's conflict. Those various "someone's" over the years have each been a god send to my sanity. And I know that no support group could have provided me that sort of intimacy.
Look at me, I got ahead of myself a bit….
I guess what I am trying to say is this. If we care half as much as we say we do about our friends we should be making ourselves available to carry their burdens. We should be willing to reach out to those around us and make sure that they have just as much a chance to rest their burdens. No gets through life without a few scars or challenges. And if you are not willing to stand up for your friends in their time of need, can you honestly expect them to stand up for you?
Sexual abuse is a very big issue. I find it hard to even think about, I really do not know how the people that have experienced it can deal with it. But like the girl in the class I was really proud and I envy her for the strength that she had and how she moved on and continued her life. I am sure that not all victims of sexual abuse are able to move on and at least try to forget about their past. When I think about it and imagine what if that happened to me, I do not know how I would deal with it. I do not know if I even have the strength. I am also very proud of the victims that came forward about the Sandusky scandal. I am sure that it is very hard to tell people that you have been sexually abuse, in this case for the victims of this scandal the whole world. And really for doing what they do by coming out and telling the whole world about the tragic event in their life they deserve to be recognized and they deserve to be supported. I know that our University has done somethings like the the blue ribbons and the candlelight vigil was a nice way to support the victims. But I am sure that this is not enough, because those victims deserve more. I wish I could do something to help the victims of tragic events like this, but I can't really erase their past and put happy memories in. Unfortunately the victims are stuck with those memories, but I think we do need to change the laws of the schools and Universities that say that in situations like these you notify a higher authority and not call the police. One of the students said that in elementary schools if the teacher notifies the police they could even get fired. I think that is nonsense. How could you fire someone that is trying the save the life of many other people? And with Joe Pa, I don't know if firing him was the right idea or not. He did do what he was supposed to according to the University right? So, why do we fire him for doing his job? I am not saying that we should have let him continue his carrier at Penn State, even though he does do his job spectacularly, but why couldn't we just let him resign? I am sure he would have resigned after that scandal anyway even if the University didn't fire him, because Joe Paterno cares about the Penn State family, and he would have made the right choice for the well being of the University without anyone telling him.
It is such a tough situation to be in regarding the scandal surrounding Penn State. I have grown up in a Penn State household. I grew up watching all of the football games, wearing Penn State apparel, and always jumping to defend the Penn State name when it is in question. But I have always had such a strong stance against people who do such sick things to children. It absolutely disgusts me how certain people can do such things. And it does disgust me to know that some people knew such things were happening and allowed them to go on. So the dilemma comes in as to should I display my loyalty to my school which I was raised to admire, or do I support the values and opinions I have developed against such absurd crimes. I do support Penn State, and always will. I do believe that many people at this institution knew of the events that were occurring and I do feel those people should be punished in amazingly harsh methods. But I am a firm believer that the name and reputation was not built by these people. Our respect and our trust is not, and should never, be because of a bunch of trustees, coaches, and deans. The university is represented by students. We are the offspring of the environment here. So in no way can anyone use what has happened to characterize the type of place Penn State is. As for the victims, there will never be anything to make up for what was done to them. There is no closure. There is no taking it back. I do think they deserve to see those responsible for the crimes to be punished. In no way do I hope to offend any victims by this, but I do feel like often times the victim and their parents are responsible as well. While I never have been in such circumstances and may not fully understand what occured, I cannot help but think where were the parents and guardians of these kids. I think it is a different story for those who may have only been in one such incident. But those who repeatedly encountered this situation, they or their parents much have put them into that situation repeatedly. No I am not saying it is fully the parents fault, but I think there should be some sort of blame accepted by the people that put these kids in some of these situations. I think real progress needs to be made in the quality of parenting in this country. I think a huge step would be to educate parents on ways to notice and prevent things of this nature from occurring. I might be just being insensitive to the whole thing, and I wish I did not feel like this sometimes, but I cannot help but think about how some blame is to be layed on the victims and their families.
When something is such an offbeat topic, a conversation usually held in whispers, then figuring out how you may positively impact others without making people uncomfortable is a difficult feat. Honestly, I would like to completely disregard people's comfort zones. Children who have been sexually abused have been forced out of their comfort zones into a world of confusion and pain. What makes matters worse, is there is no one there to talk about it.
So the way I would like to try and help the victims move forward is by creating a community where we can talk about these matters. It is difficult, and when I sat in class this previous Tuesday it took all my power not to stand up and leave due to my own emotions ravaging around. But if you sit through it, you force yourself to listen, and you force yourself to empathize and to feel these horrifying emotions, then the better a person may be at comforting another. None of us are prepared for sexual abuse, whether you are involved or indirectly affiliated. No one can ever be prepared for such a tragedy. So in the wake of tragedy something must be done. We constantly try to take measures to prevent, but what is so interesting to me is that I do not think in our own schools we have many mediums to express ourselves if the tragedy already occurred.
Cancer used to be something no one liked to talk about. But now we have marathons, yogurts, and clothing lines to help support the cause. The same sort of trouble is happening with those with mental illnesses, and only very recently have we become much more open and provide numerous places for people who are afflicted to seek help. However, if I really think about it, I mean really rack my memory and try to remember a single website or telephone number or even someone I would be remotely able to talk to if I was sexually abused, I would come up short.
My way of personally showing the victims that I care, and would like to help them move forward from this tragedy, would to simply show that I am listening, and am willing to listen. My way of making a better world for those who find themselves confused, alone, and sick to their stomachs would be to prove to them that are, in fact, not alone. Not even the least. Sam showed us that in a room filled with around seven hundred people, a frightening portion of nearly 1 out of 6 would have been sexually abused in some way. It is time we make a community where we can talk about this, because clearly the abuse is happening everywhere to too many people. And what better way for crime to occur than if it is always kept under wraps? It is time to shed some light on this topic, and help bring victims back into the light.
The recent events at Penn State have brought a great deal of national spotlight on the issue of child sexual abuse. Although everything that unraveled at Penn State is absolutely horrendous and sickening, I believe that in a way everything happens for a reason—and the silver lining here is that more Americans and people around the world have opened their eyes to the prevalence of child sex abuse and its horrible after effects and consequences.
The entire Penn State community came together in October to stand strong for the victims at the candlelight vigil at Old Main and ever since then. That candlelight vigil spoke volumes. It told the world that Penn State cared for the victims. We felt their pain. We saw the injustice. We wanted to do everything that we could possibly do to make things right and to show the victims that they would always have our support.
I believe that candlelight vigil was the first major step that Penn Staters took to make a positive difference in the world of sex abuse victims. We need to continue on that path and continue to do even more to ensure that they feel loved and supported in the right ways.
This topic is a very touchy matter to begin with, and most people in our society prefer to “hush” its seriousness and ignore its effects and implications. However, we as a society need to alter our mindset so that we embrace this issue with open arms and so that we as a society can openly discuss anything related to it by encouraging victims and others to share their stories and get the proper help in order to heal and get back on track. We need to teach our citizens and others around the world that the best way to alter the traditional mindset is by spreading awareness of what is happening in houses, workplaces, schools, and places of worship all around the world. Sexual abuse transgresses age, race, ethnicity, gender and socioeconomic status. We all need to be educated about its prevalence and the victims need to know that they have our support to fall back on.
I propose that we begin a campaign that spreads awareness—right here at Penn State. There is always potential for the campaign to grow into other states and countries around the world, but the movement would have a powerful jumpstart if it was founded at the eye of the storm, the storm that has affected Penn State for the past couple of months now. The initiative could have multiple sections that focus on different aspects of the issue of child sex abuse. One section could focus on direct contact and help for sex abuse victims by offering different services such as counseling. Another section could focus on relations with different departments at Penn State and neighboring schools in order to raise awareness and educate others about the importance of being involved in the world and realizing and acting on what is going on around us. I believe that this initiative could impact the lives of many in a positive manner.
It came up in class about whose side of the courtroom you’d be on if the person you loved the most was guilty of a horrific crime. My friend sitting next to me made the comment that she wouldn’t go because if the person she loved could do something like that, she clearly didn’t know them and that their entire relationship was a lie and meant nothing. It got me to thinking, can someone commit acts that are fundamentally evil and wrong and still have genuine caring relationships? Can someone be both a monster and a lover? Does someone committing horrific acts negate their relationships with the ones who love them
I felt the opposite of my friend. That the horrific act wouldn’t negate everything in a relationship. Not every one of my acts are for one end cause, regardless of what that cause is for. I can form a relationship with one person built out of greed and another built out of genuine love, and because I still have the nativity or possible wisdom to think that if I can do something or feel something that everyone can. If I found out the person I loved more than anything did commit an act, I would like to believe that I could forgive and see past it. Yet, these things are very situational, and depends on the motivates behind it.
Could I understand and sympathize with the reasoning, and is it something that the person can be helped with? Had the crime been so grossly unnecessary and not understandable, I am not sure I could forgive. Also whether it was a one time mistake or a habit and a pattern would also play into my ability to forgive. I would like to believe that love can conquer all, but there are some things I just could not handle even if I tried. Do you think that someone who commits these acts, that their motives are solely to complete those unspeakable acts? And if you don’t believe that, how can people who love monsters justify their love and their relationship?
Can they say that they loves this part of the person without acknowledging the other part? Do you think that Sandusky’s wife or children could still love her husband? And do you think that Sandusky, who has been painted as a monster could still love his wife even while committing these acts? In a similar vein, it reminds me of the show, Dexter. Dexter who has a family and in some capacity cares and loves them, and yet he is a cold blooded murder. Does an act of greatness (greatness defined as an extent, amount, or intensity considerably above the normal or average) negate our smaller acts and count for more than our daily activities? ____
Sam posed the question to us something along the lines of is it difficult for us to honor Joe Paterno and still feel for the victims. I felt it was questioned in the sense that we have forgotten about everything that has transpired over the past two months up here. I felt that a common misconception from outsiders looking in was that we supported Jerry Sandusky throughout this whole ordeal and that by protesting Joe Paterno’s firing that we, in a sense, didn’t care about the victims who were affected in this scandal. We never condoned any of the despicable acts and that is one thing that has bothered me for the past two months. We all realize how to separate Jerry Sandusky’s acts along with Joe Paterno’s silence and inaction from Joe Paterno’s million good deeds to make this school, community, and life up here better for everyone. It’s been overstated but if you don’t go to this school you probably don’t realize what has happened, how we have felt, or how our lives’ have been changed forever. It seems that our whole world has been flipped on its head and we didn’t know how to cope with it at first, we are still getting there.
The one thing that bothers me is that all of us Penn State students are looked at differently now. We had a high standard set for ourselves up here and we portrayed ourselves as some of the best students in the country. The country knew we were partiers and that we liked to riot. News stations in a sense applauded us for celebrating Osama Bin Landen’s death last May. I understand that we weren’t destructive in that celebration and that was a great way for us to control ourselves. In this recent riot we were destructive and I am disappointed with us for acting that way. But we were portrayed by the media in a negative light and the media has been disgusting throughout this whole ordeal.
The one thing that is upsetting throughout our new portrayal and our new found bad reputation is that the repercussions will be seen when our totals are shown at THON this February. I undertand that our total will be down because we lost a canning weekend but a lot of people will see Penn State on our signs and refuse to give us donations that they would normally give us. Another way that most people on the outside won’t separate the actions of Jerry Sandusky from the million of good we do in THON. If people don’t know what good we do every year for the millions of kids with the Four Diamonds foundation then they have no room to make comments about what we has happened these past two months.
How should I go forward to make a difference for victims of sexual abuse? This is really hard question to answer, because unless you are a victim or personally know a victim you can’t possibly understand what they have experience and how they dealt with this unfortunately event of events that have took place in their life. Until the past events, I never really thought much about the children of sexual abuse and how they cope with it. It is a really hard thing to talk about, because it is a sad and awful. Many Victims don’t even say they have experience being sexual abused. They are more likely to depress this issue and act as though this never happen. Which makes it hard for others to help them deal with what has happen to them. I believe that there should be more support groups and awareness groups for these victims. When you know that, there are others like you and is going through the same emotions and confusion as you. It makes things a little bit less stressful, understandable and easy to talk about it, this would be great way to connect and help these victims. As of now recently I had found out April is the Sexual Assault Awareness Month, which a lot of people don’t know. Due to the recently events I think our school should really get involved with sponsoring this month just like they sponsor Thon and reaching out and fundraise for these victims. Making a difference for these vitims doesn’t have to be big as the ones I just stated. They can be as small, by just talking to person a you know that is a victims, or just passing out pamphlets or buttons letting people know that we are there to support and help victims of sexual abuse. How I will move forward and make a difference, be during the month of April, I will wear the teal color ribbon. I will show my respects for these victims, even though that is not much but is it is show support and let them know I am there to help.
The outrageous scandal that took place here at our university was a tremendous eye opener on so many levels. Child abuse is an extremely sensitive topic but should definitely be addressed. Millions of children yearly are sexual assaulted in some manner. Many times it goes unreported because there either to afraid to mention it or when they did mention it the matter was completely ignored. Personally I would try various things to prevent future cases of child molestation and sexual abuse. One of them would be to try to organize charities and safe haven for the victims. I would do whatever it takes to show them that I am here for them so I can gain the trust of these children. Yes I admit it will be hard but I will work for it. I have never experienced anything of the sort but one of my very close friends has been. The experience was jaw dropping but after she exposed it the victimizer did suffer dire consequences. Not everyone will be as brave as her but it’s vital to speak up. When nothing is said it’s hard to try to put a stop on something.
One thing that I couldn’t get from the whole scandal is why Joe Paterno was so harshly penalized? Yes as a loyal honest man he did admit to the fact that he could have done more but when it’s all said and done he was never the pedophile. Also he wasn’t the highest authority either, so if it’s going to be reported due to its severity it should be taken all the way and not left on one or two individuals. To me Sandusky has played a valid role but yet I hardly here him even mentioned. To me his punishment is so minimal and doesn’t really show the repercussions. My greatest condolences do go out to all the children that were ever molested in anyway. I know they may feel terrible and embarrassed but can be at peace with themselves. More ways I would recognize victims do something positive way would be volunteering at local schools to talk to kids so they can be open and teach them things that are wrong which they may think is ok. Also teach them the proper terminology of private parts of the body. This would be helpful in identifying what activities are exactly being taking place. Another positive thing I would personal do is get children closely aquatinted with their parents to the point where everything is exposed and discussed daily. They should converse openly on things there not sure is right so that way anything wrong can be dealt with immediately and the suffering of the victims won’t have to last longer than it needs to.
I feel like because of what we have gone through as school and as a student body with the scandal that has occurred that there is an extra amount of pressure on us as a group to be making a stand against child abuse and personally I want to rise to the occasion in this situation. I want to show that just because this scandal happened that it does not break us and that we are more then what happened. It also seems that we have to prove that just because someone who was/is associated with Penn State did terrible things that does not mean that we are associated with them or are supporting the actions that occurred in any form. I wish there was an easy fix for this situation that there was something I could do to make the people who do these terrible things to other people just disappear but that is not how the world works. I think the best way to start is to acknowledge that this is happening to people every day, all around the world. I am a Rehabilitation and Human Services major so my first instinct is just to say all you can really do initially is be there for the person and hope that when they are ready that they might open up to you about what they have been through and maybe you can help them to overcome or just come to terms with their past experiences. I think that is one of the most important things we can do for a person is to just be there. As hard as it is to keep in mind is that most people that abuse other people have been abused themselves and that tends to play a huge part in why they are the way they are. It does not make it easy to be empathetic or to really grasp but it is just a factor to keep in mind. In other respects I think it is important to raise awareness of this issue. This issue has not been a prevalent issue in my life or something I really spent time thinking about until this year and being associated with the events that have occurred over the past few months and it just really motivates me to want to make a difference in this area and to show that we are and always have been much more than a football school. I am not really sure how to help or to jump in but I think gaining knowledge on the issues of child abuse and sexual abuse and also trying to be an advocate for people going through this is a good first step.
I like to relate a topic like this to basketball, you have to go for the 3-pointer. When the game is on the line you always go for the 3. Related to the molestation topic by helping as many victims as possible. It is either go big or go home. Going big meaning taking the topic extremely serious and really understanding how the victims feel deep down. For a serious topic I like to try and relate myself to the individual in the situation. If i was in that situation, I would go BIG, for the 3, and try and rescue myself from becoming a victim. When it is all said and done, I relate my entire life to basketball. I love shooting 3 pointers and I try and relate everything to that because it is very easy for me to comprehend different subjects if I relate it to something I love.
Sexual abuse is an ongoing problem in the world. Often times many people are not aware of how frequently sexual abuse occurs or how crucial it can be to a person’s physical, mental and emotional development. Many people may have either experienced a form of sexual abuse or know someone who has. Sam brought up a great point in class. He asked us whose side we would be on if it was our mother, best friend, sister, etc who was accused of molesting a child. Majority of us said that we would be on the side of our loved ones. He gave us an opportunity to look at the situation in various perspectives. I believe that many of us realized that our opinions and feelings can be changed based on who is involved. If our loved ones are involved in a situation like this we are most likely to be on their side. Although this is the case, this doesn’t make sexual abuse right. Many people believed that Joe Pa should have done more than he did however; Joe Pa reported what he was supposed to. I believe that Joe Pa was in shock and disbelief when he heard about Sandusky raping the little boys. Sandusky was his friend and someone he worked with for many years and to hear that this act occurred was shocking. Instead of focusing on the actual problem everything was directed towards Joe Pa. Many people disregarded the fact that these victims were still suffering from the abuse. Majority of us commented on the issue however we will never know exactly how we would respond or what we would say unless we are in that situation. The victims of sexual abuse need to be the main focus. I feel that we need to not only be aware of those victims of Penn state but also victims all around the world. A lot of times people do not realize how serious and detrimental sexual abuse can be to a person’s life. I believe that listening to a victim’s story is the first step in helping them cope. Numerous victims have not been able to express their feelings or emotions about their experience. Once you have listened I believe the next step is helping them seek counseling. Victims carry this burden for many years before they actually realize how much they have been affected and how it has impacted their lives. Another way to move forward with helping sexual abuse victims is bringing awareness. We need to realize majority of the times people are sexually abuse by family and friends rather than it being the stranger we always thought it would be. Issues like these are main reasons why I want to become a social worker. It gives me the opportunity to help someone overcome these experiences in healthy ways. Most times all someone wants you to do is just listen to them. If we can be that ear, we can help many victims lives change.
I believe everyone in class agrees that child sexual abuse is horrible crime and it is terribly wrong. According to what I learn little bit about educational psychology, child sexual abuse has a critical impact on a victim’s development. It’s like building a huge wall around the victim’s inner self. It not only gives detrimental effect on the victim’s emotion, but also destroy his/her mind in a significant degree. The effect possibly lasts his/her entire life, and change the way to view this world. Child sexual abuse is really serious issue that you can not simply leave by saying, “well, we are gonna die in 80 years”. I think everyone of us should move forward to change. The very first step to do is to change ourselves and share the idea with others. Even though not many people want to discuss this issue but wrong is wrong. What if the victim is the one near us? Are we still going to do nothing about it? I know media limiting how we view the world by broadcasting things in only one-sided way, so we should be careful of. But remember, as Sam says, what media broadcasts reflects the mass or us. We cannot blame the media for everything because they give what we want; media and the mass have a mutual relationship. Rather than blaming media that has not focused on the victim, we should first have to be concerned of this issue and spread to each other. I know many people, including me, are reluctant to take actions because it is difficult to lead in the front. But what if we lead others together? We should be more active and at least aware of the seriousness of the problem. Furthermore, we know Pennstate students are the ones who will be disadvantaged by this event, mostly. Beside this fact, if it is not us, who will change it? If is true that many victims are afraid of reporting the truth, we should help and protect them. Action comes from mind; mind comes from consciousness; consciousness comes from unconsciousness, and unconsciousness comes from subconsciousness. If we can change our thinking, it will have impact on me, us, and this society. It is difficult time. We may be puzzled, not knowing what to do. But we can find small thing we can do about and put it to action. We can discuss it more in group, or we can join group to make better society. We can share our thoughts to share what we should do. No matter how difficult the situation is, if we put our hands together, we can go though it, and this difficulty will turn into opportunity to move forward to better society. Maybe I’m being too emotional when writing this. But we are, Pennstate. Let’s do what Pennstate does.
Honestly thinking back on these last couple months I truly have struggled with the right way to “support” people who have been effected by sexual abuse. I think most people’s first reaction to the scandal was shock and sadness. Its easy to hate anyone involved in the scandal just because that’s how everyone around you is acting, but being pushed into the middle of this scandal really opened my eyes. It is easy to tie a blue ribbon on your book bad or retweet some inspirational quotes to the victims, but what is that really doing for the victims?
Despite the overwhelming amount of students who pledged there allegiance to the victims on countless social networks, when it came down to actually doing something real for the victims the support was not so strong. I am not going to lie, I am guilty of the same offense, but when a friend of mine came told me that she would be doing a sort of dialogue to allow students a place to talk and learn about sexual abuse I decided to get a little more invested in the issue. I showed up to the event, at first just to be there for a friend, but left with a whole lot more on my mind. A total of three students showed up to the event, including myself. It broke my heart that a friend of mine went through the trouble to get professionals to speak, in order to help other students deal with the situation at hand, and no one even showed up. If only one tenth of the students who claimed to care about the victims had attended, the room would have been filled ten times over.
However, we still spent the time to talk with lawyers, therapists, and volunteers who had delt first hand with the issue and my mind was truly blown. I was starting to understand how the victims were really feeling. Unfortunately, after this event, I was not able to attend any other forums of fundraisers; partly because, like most important issues, after the initial outcry wears off.. so does the support. But the important thing to realize is that these issues do not go away.
When I think about what I can do to help the victims, I struggle to come up with a valuable solution. I can’t look a victim in the eye and tell them that I understand what they’re going through. I can’t start a support group or provide first hand advice to young kids. The one thing that I have realized I can do is listen. I think one of the most important thing to do in support of victims of sexual abuse it to provide them with a listening ear, and even a shoulder to cry on. If there was one thing I learned from the forum that I attended is that every event, situation, or run in with sexual abuse is different, and perhaps the first step to helping a victim is listening to what they have to say.
I truthfully do not know what to do moving forward in regards to child sexual abuse. The fact that there is a silencer on these situations in society makes it very hard if not impossible to start to make a stand. Society today is stuck in its ways and will be very hard to change when it comes down to touchy subjects, hence the reason they are mostly silenced. I completely agree with the girl who spoke out in class and what she said regarding the Joe Paterno situation. This is something I have been saying ever since this whole scandal rocked this university. Why are we punishing an American citizen for following the rules. JoePa did exactly what he was supposed to do under his jurisdiction and this is something the media and the school itself did not recognize. The media itself plays a big part in this because child sexual abuse, like I said earlier, doesn’t come out all that often so when it does make an appearance its on a grand stage. I do agree with some of Joe Paterno’s final public words,”I should have done more.” These are words that will forever go down under his name regarding this scandal. Joe PAterno may not have done what was “morally” right but he did do what was expected of him under the laws set forward by the state/school. I do believe that JoePa could have done more but this goes back the old saying of “don’t shoot the messenger” and that exactly what happened.
Moving forward after living through what seemed to be the apocalypse at Penn State, can definitely help me in making the right decisions in the future regarding sexual abuse. I guess all one can do as a person, if you personally know of someone, is to just give them your full support and help them through the mental and emotional strain that such abuse tends to puts on the victims. Child abuse comes I at great numbers but is rarely reported, or even talked about. It was really eerie when Sam said that the people in the lecture hall alone that we in some way affected by sexual abuse could fill and entire section.
So I guess at the end of the day what’s done is done and you cannot change the past, but you can however, use the past to shape the future. Maybe this was a big wake up call for the country to start making a stand against child abuse. Though it did come at Penn State University’s expense, it’s a wake up call nonetheless. I do agree, along with JoePa, that he should have done more but now that the scapegoat is gone, I feel the truth will definitely come out. I grieve for the victims and I grieve for the Paterno Family. Rest in Peace Coach, thanks for the memories!
Moving forward from the tragic events that occurred over the last few months at Penn State, I have to say I'm still struggling with how to feel about it. Though Joe Paterno’s death was a tragedy and it was inspiring to see the Penn State community come together to honor him, I can’t help but wonder why the victims weren’t given the same amount of support and attention. Though we did take a first step in holding a candlelight vigil and wearing blue to the Nebraska game for child abuse awareness, there’s still something inside me that says we haven’t done enough. I think the reason for that is because it’s psychologically so hard to deal with. Many people can’t relate at all to sexual abuse and those who can feel either ashamed or afraid they won’t be heard or understood. It’s easier for us to put all of our focus and energy into honoring a legendary hero then it is to put some energy into grappling with the issue of sexual abuse or how to help victim’s pick up the pieces and move forward with their lives. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what needs to be done, but I think the first step definitely needs to be a change in how we view these sorts of things. It’s not just a problem at Penn State, it’s a major problem in our society. Seeing this scandal unfold at my University has reminded me that this kind of thing happens everywhere, all the time, in every neighborhood. We can’t keep silent on these issues and we must be able to have open honest conversations about how to deal with them. Though I have never been sexually abused myself I have seen it occur with people close to me. My cousin was sexually abused by her father for years before she had the courage to tell someone. She is still scarred from the experience at 31 years old and continues to struggle to move on from the trauma of it. Her story has taught me the truly grave affect that abuse can have on the rest of a persons life. Because of her childhood trauma she has struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, bulimia, and trying to hold a job. We can’t just try to hide or ignore sexual abuse, we need to keep it in the forefront of our minds. If my cousin hadn’t felt such shame she may have been able to speak up earlier. If her friends and family members had understood the signs of abuse or chosen to see them they may have saved her from a lifetime of heartache. No single person or group can be blamed for not knowing how to do deal with sexual abuse. But the biggest steps we can take in light of this tragedy are to recognize the prevalence of sexual abuse, be more open in talking about it, become more educated about it, and as a society put less taboo around such topics that lead victims to feel so ashamed. Another close friend of mine once confided in me and told me that her older brother had raped her when she was little. If she hadn’t told me I never would have expected this. Her family never discusses it and the brother still comes around from time to time. Though on the outside things seem fine I can see from being so close with her the inner battle my friend deals with everyday. Victims need the tools to fight their battles openly, not alone. What I need to do personally is reflect on how I can be a trustworthy person to come to with about these issues and become educated on how to help victims move forward. I want to be the person people know they can talk to about anything and not be judged for it. If we all adjust our attitudes in this way we can bring awareness, openness, and sympathy to future victims. I also agree with an earlier post that stated that more attention needs to be put into researching the minds of sexual abusers and giving would be pedophiles places to go such as nonjudgmental treatment centers before the problem begins. This will help tackle the problem of child sex abuse proactively but again this type of solution relies on society opening up on this issue rather than remaining in silence and denial.
It’s fascinating how child abuse still exists in the world of today. We live in a world where messages can travel all over the world in fractions of a second, and newspapers and other sources of media constantly bring the darkest, deepest crimes of our world to light. But yet children still suffer.
To me, the saddest part of the Jerry Sandusky scandal is not the fall of Joe Paterno from such great heights, not the defamation of a beautiful, strong and powerful University, but the fact that at the end of the day, there might not be a light at the end of the tunnel, some type of hope and place where we can go to stop child abuse once and forever.
It’s so easy for us to sit back and condemn the perpetrators of child abuse as the most disgusting, horrible people ever to walk the face of the earth. But we just don’t know. We don’t know what goes on in their minds. We don’t know whether they think what they are doing is wrong. And we certainly don’t know who they are, because they don’t exactly advertise their presence.
In all honesty, I don’t think it is possible to stop child abuse altogether. The nature of the crime, to take an innocent, trusting child and commit such acts, shows us just how hard it is to stop. Children are trusting. Humans are engineered to trust in one another, whether you believe in the idea of evolution and kin selection theory, or simply believe in the goodness of people’s hearts. We can’t ignore this fact any longer, or how child abusers prey on these natural human tendencies.
For myself, I know that the Sandusky incident has been a call to personal vigilance. Because one day, when I am a parent, I’ll have to make tough decisions about whom I allow to interact with my child. I have to make sure my child knows the difference between appropriate and inappropriate contact, and I have to ensure that my child has a trusting, loving relationship with me, so that they can tell me anything that happens. But I know it won’t be enough.
It’s a sad, scary situation that we face. Can we trust others around our children? I think that at the end of the day, no matter how much I try to teach my child, there will still be abusers out there. Do I hold my child back? No, unfortunately this is not the solution to such a problem, as it will inhibit the growth of my child as a whole.
At the end of the day, the best thing that I can do is try to provide education to those who need it, and serve as a positive role model. I need to trust in the goodness of people, and hope that everything works out for the best. And if, God forbid, things don’t work out for the best, I need to be quick to lend a helping hand to those who have fallen victim to such a horrible crime. Solid support networks can help those who need it most.
I think that doing something for the victims of sexual abuse requires some reflection on your own life and mind. I think the idea of sexual abuse is something most people are extremely uncomfortable with and would rather push under the table. I think about all the girls I know, and myself, who have been sexually harassed either verbally or physically, and who brush it off because you do not want to make a big deal about it. Then, when you do hear a girl reporting sexual assault or harassment, you tend to ignore it or question if it really happened or she is just reporting it for attention. I think that attitude is really messed up, yet I know I succumb to it all the time. When I hear about a celebrity assaulting a young girl, I think oh, that girl knew what she was getting into but that does not make it ok! She may have understood the mans intentions, but may have been completely powerless to his advances. Or felt flattered initially, then things got out of control. Or maybe it was all a lie for press and attention! I guess what I am saying is that sexual abuse is something so misunderstood and brushed under the rug, that to DO something about it requires trying to understand it first.
Personally, I do not have enough money to donate to any sexual abuse awareness organizations right now, but when I do make money donating a portion of it is something I would do to help the cause. Right now the best I can do is help raise the awareness of how big a problem it is in our country and our world these days. I think the biggest problem about this epidemic is the lack of awareness about it. People do not know how prevalent it is in our country right now. Even after the Sandusky news broke out people do not know how ramped it is and I believe when this whole scandal dies down people will go back to not worrying or knowing about the problem. The best way to help solve this problem is raising awareness and funding any amount of money that you can to the organizations.
The biggest reaction to the Jerry Sandusky and Penn State is anger and hatred towards Sandusky, the school, and anyone involved in the scandal. While these are pretty heinous accusations towards the alleged perpetrators, hatred and anger is not going to solve anything. Wasting your time being angry with people like the late Joe Paterno, who may not have done anything wrong in this case does not help victims of sexual abuse. Boycotting anything and anyone who has something to do with Penn State whether or not they had something to do with the scandal is not going to help the victims. Even staying angry with the alleged child molester, which all clues point to being guilty, Jerry Sandusky will not benefit any past or future victims. The most positive way to contribute to this cause is to help the people who have already been subjected to crimes like this and to try and help preventing these things from happening in the future.
Unfortunately sexual abuse is a growing problem and it is more likely that someone who was sexually abused as a child is going to commit sexual abuse when they grow up. It will not be easy to put an end to this problem and it is going to take time, but if people start to realize there is a huge problem and start to collectively make an effort to put an end to it, eventually it will get better. Because it is so common for victims of sexual abuse to turn into predators, I believe the best way to solve the problem is to make sure these victims get help. If they are properly counseled and given proper methods to cope with their experiences then eventually their will be less victims who turn into predators, which will make less victims.
Walking into class on Tuesday I figured that we would be discussing Joe Paterno and how we felt about him as either a hero or a villain. My stance throughout this whole ordeal has been that I feel deeply for the victims of abuse and that Jerry Sandusky (allegedly) has done horrible, unspeakable crimes. My view on Paterno is that he made a mistake; he told the right people as he should have done, but he could have done more. Being the exceptional man he is, he was the only one to admit that in hindsight he should have done more. Despite the mistake Paterno made it is still hard for me to overlook everything he has done for this university and its students and athletes; for these things I must still admire him. This seems to be a pretty standard view of Paterno from the students I have talked to.
Mostly what I have been struggling with is how to explain this to other people who think we are just glorifying Paterno because he is a football coach and completely forgetting the mistake he made in reporting child sexual abuse. All over Facebook and Twitter I see comments regarding this with mean words for Paterno from students from other schools. Needless to say, in the past couple months I have unfriended and unfollowed several people. I really did not know how to explain the way Penn State felt about Paterno until class on Tuesday. We were asked if a family member committed a horrible crime and was on trial, where would we sit? On our family member’s side, on the victim’s side, or not attend? 80% of the class said they would sit with the family member despite what they had done. Joe Paterno is a part of the Penn State family; I would even go as far as to say, he essentially created the Penn State family. So despite the mistake that Paterno made, he is still our family and we remember all the good he has done.
Moving forward, we must decide how we will deal with the events of the past few months. I personally find it too difficult to dwell on the events because looking back on them will change nothing. We must remember what has happened, but we must still move on. I will remember the scandal and I will mostly remember the role that Jerry Sandusky played in it. I will also remember the roles that McQueary, Schultz, Curley and yes, even Joe Paterno played in the scandal. But when I look back and think about Joe Paterno, the scandal will be a small taint on his nearly perfect record in my mind. Afterall, he is human. We can’t condemn people forever, especially after they are gone. Holding grudges and not forgiving people will only bring us down. We must forgive Paterno in our minds so that we can move forward. And eventually, we even need to forgive Sandusky even if our opinion of him does not change. Maybe this idea comes from my faith in God, but everyone deserves to be forgiven.
We must move on not only with our views of the events of the past couple of months, but also with our own lives. I think as a Penn State community we have become stronger, closer, and more aware. After the scandal broke, rumors of students being turned away from interviews and internships flooded social media. The students should not be brought down by Jerry Sandusky’s actions. If anything, we know first hand the affects of child sexual abuse, lack of reporting, and corruption. None of us want to see something like this happen again, which may in fact make us better candidates for jobs. We have been through a lot as a university and as a family, but we have grown up fast and are better people because of it. We are better people because we would never allow child sexual abuse to go on if we heard about it, and we are better people from having been apart of Joe Paterno’s Penn State family. WE ARE…
How can we move forward is a very important question. This is a question that many victim of child abuse ask them self. Having a personal experience with child abuse I could say that moving forward is the hardest thing you could do but it possible. When I was younger I was molested by my uncle. Throughout my child hood I was always told to be careful of strangers but I was never told beware of those close to you that want to harm you. I always followed the rules I did not talk to people I did not know or people that seemed dangerous. But one night my parents left my brother and I in the care of our uncle suppose to protect us from dangerous people that wanted to harm use they did not know that he was one of those people. After we fell asleep he did the worst thing that someone could of have done to me in my whole entire life. When my parents came home he said bye and left like nothing happen. I was too young to understand what just happen, but I knew it was wrong. After this happen I lack trust for everyone. I never told my parents sadly till this day they don’t know. I asked myself how I can move on question for many years. How can I put all of this in back of m? How can my life keep on going? In order to move on I had to talk to someone. I told my favorite aunt what happen to me and she made sure I found the help I needed. When she was younger she was rape by her father best friend. Thanks to her mother she was but into therapy that help her move on with her life. In therapy she learns that she needed to talk about what happen in order to move on with her life. Tanks to her I am now able to talk about what happen to me and look at it from a different perspective. In order to move on I had to talk about what happen to me and understand that it was not my fault. In order for Penn state to move on we need to understand that what happen to the victim is not easy thing to deal with. We need to show are support to the victim. I also feel that we should have an awareness day for the victim to show them that we care and understand that what he did was wrong. Thanks to my aunt support I was able to move on. And with the support of Penn State we can help the victim move on. Penn State is a great university and sadly because if this many sick action we are being in a way blame for what he did. We are still Penn State and we will always be Penn State.
It is difficult to say what I even could do for the victims of childhood sexual abuse. I personally know at least four victims of child sexually abuse and sharing their experiences to even me was difficult enough for them. Two of them never even mention the event to me since they did not know me well enough. They have continued to struggle with these scarring past events well into their young adult lives and resorted to abuse of many substances and acts including hard drugs, alcohol, and sex. It is hard enough seeing them deal with the hurt they endured in the past and only being able to extend my support and condolences. Without knowing any of the recent victims of childhood sexual abuse, I am not quite sure how I could extend my support and sympathy towards their situation.
I realize that not every victim wants sympathy all the time. While in high school, I lived through the uncovering of two child sexual abuse scandals with students attending my high school. I personally knew the abuser of one of the students since he was my grade school soccer coach and played soccer with the victim who was additionally the abuser’s niece. The other student played high school soccer with me and their abuser was a teacher who previously taught at this school. Both of these events were soon the latest gossip around the entire school and both students were quickly alienated. It made me sick to hear others talk down both of these girls as if it were their fault that these abusers violated them. I never contributed to talking them down, but I attempted to treat them the same as I did before. They seemed to appreciate that I could still be the same fun-loving, silly girl, but I wish that I could have better expressed my sympathy for them without making them feel uncomfortable. I never had that chance to express my sympathy for that reason alone.
It seemed that it did not matter as much that I did not express my sympathy for their situation since I was only an acquaintance. Treating them as I had before when very few people even wanted to talk with them seemed to be the best form of sympathy that I could offer. Whenever I was going through a difficult issue, it was the kind gestures and everyday conversations that I had with others that really helped me keep my mind off the issue and deal with the day. I realize that counseling was their best bet for overcoming this kind of issue, but for the rest of the time that they were not in counsel, I am sure that they did not want to think about it all that much. They seemed to just want to move on from the issue and get on with their lives. I hope that I aided in helping them move on from this difficult situation.
For all the recent victims of the alleged Sandusky case, there is not much sympathy that I can extend towards them since I do not know them personally, but I can donate towards counseling services that help them. This seems to be the only support that I could logically extend towards these recent victims. I hope that if I ever had the chance to meet them that I could bring a little more sunshine into their lives through humor and good-hearted conversation.
What can we do? I don’t know. Seriously, that’s my answer. We can only support or help “victims” after they have already become victims, and that point the most horrible thing they will go through in their life has already happened. So what we should do is prevention. I went to Catholic school, and after the Boston priest scandal occurred…what I believe to have put child sexual abuse on the forefront (after years and years of being hushed)…we never talked about it. At a school where children were around priests all the time, how could nothing be said? I think as educators, a segment even once per semester or year about talking to trusted adults about home problems should be administered in all schools. Kids listen to adults, unfortunately in negative ways as well.
The one thing about the scandal that is so hard to comprehend is how the man was not only liked, but loved and adored by hundreds of people (Sandusky). A former football player via my BLAW professor during the November week from hell, said “if you told me that you thought Jerry was a rapist pedophile, I would have punched you in the face.” That’s why I don’t blame Joe Paterno. He was a third party who was told about an incident he didn’t even comprehend to have occurred. Joe came from a time where child rape wasn’t even heard of (ie. His Washington post interview). This scandal was a phenomenon of its own, a rarity, so I don’t think we can use it to compare to sex abuse as a whole. It’s not fair to.
So what can I do? If there anything to take from this whole thing, is that when someone does express concern to you about an issue that requires action, ACT! Between Curley and Shultz (and most likely even Joe Pa), police should have been called. So whether it refers to abuse, or even just a legal issue…it is OKAY to seek help from a superior, father, coach, etc. But if you are unfortunately given the responsibility to have witnessed or been confided about a potential further harm, you must follow up on the people you sought help from. I love the expression “there are two types of evil in this world: people who do evil things and people who see evil things being done and don’t do anything about it.” Joseph Vincent Paterno falls into NEITHER of these two categories.
I think a lot of comments above (and my own) are steering clear of the question posed by Dr. Richards: “What can YOU do?” I think my answer is pretty simple. You can continue to be a good person. That’s all. You can help those who have been hurt by someone who isn’t. It is okay to love Joe Pa and still care for the Second mile victims. There are no rules on this situation. People are free to speak their minds as long as facts are represented. It is even okay to hate Joe Pa. As a victim, I would too.
It struck me when Sam said how many people he believed were victims in our class, but when I really thought about it I can’t say that I’m surprised. It hurts when someone close to you betrays your trust in such a severe and traumatic way, at times the child is confused and he or she doesn’t know if what happened was wrong and they may wall it away in their minds, only to be hurt more by it later in life when they realize that what happened was not the way of the world. It hurts them more than words can describe. I believe that people in the world are moving in a way to confront this though. When we were younger it was taboo to speak of anything like this, but here we are, posting on the internet what we really feel. It is strange how times and technology has changed the way the population faces problems. Just think, when our parents were kids it was unheard of for women to wear bikinis, but now girls on the beach wear much less than that at times. What I’m getting at is that there are TV shows such as Law and Order: SUV that are centered on crimes such as these. We, as consumers, changed an entire mind set. These shows will sometimes make what happened seem much more grand and grotesque than what happens many times, but they do bring the subject to the forefront of our psyches. This is both good and bad. First the bad; it is conceivable that putting these acts out to the masses will suggest to sick individuals that what they think is possible, and they may be more apt to act on these urges. The good however, is showing victims, the real life victims of sexual abuse, that it is not only them. They are not alone and should not feel cut off from the world. These shows will hopefully encourage those of us who were abused in the most horrendous of ways to come forth. They will know that they will not be ridiculed for what happened to them as it was not their fault. Recognizing sexual abuse is much more difficult if the victim does not reach out to you. It is near impossible to gauge a stranger (though many of us subscribe to the judging a book by its cover). This can be remedied by simply being nicer to one another. Hold a door open for another student, talk to someone who seems they may be having a bad day, you never know if they’re trying to reach out to someone. Let that someone be you.
This is a very hard question to answer. I personally have never experienced sexual abuse, but my one close friend confronted me about a time when she was sexually abused recently. I knew it was a hard topic for her to talk about so I applauded her strength for being able to re-live that moment. It can't be easy. I tried helping her feel better but honestly, there is nothing I can do. The emotional damage has already been done. That one incident has scarred her for the rest of her life. The only way to possibly help them is to keep uniting in the fight against sexual abuse. Though that won't change anything, it will show them they are not alone and they shouldn't be afraid to speak up. It's also been proved that most sexual abusers themselves have been sexually abused, they tend to repeat those actions because they are psychologically damaged from all the abuse. It's a domino effect.
The lecture about Joe Paterno really opened my eyes, I was seeing it from the victims’ point of view. Obviously, it was not Paterno’s fault at all but he was a huge power figure in our community and he could have done so much more to end it. I might have been more biased against Paterno if I was a victim myself, but since I’m not I have to say that nobody but him understands the situation he was in. If someone came up to me and was to tell me someone I trusted for so long was sexually abusing young boys, I wouldn’t want to believe it. It’s wrong to do so, but I wouldn’t believe it until the facts were straightened out and there was proof. Paterno still went to higher authorities to inform them and they were supposed to take care of it from then on. A PA prosecutor recently commented on the situation and said that Paterno did what any other teacher in PA have done in these situations, if he got fired then they all should. The prosecutor goes on to say that the police hold back investigation details because that’s what they are supposed to do, so Paterno did everything he was supposed to and he should not be held accountable for the entire situation. It’s understandable how the victims’ feel though, he could have helped them out so much and prevented more kids from getting sexually abused. But he was told the situation would be taken care of. He’s not god, he’s human and humans make mistakes. I really do feel for the victims though, the only monster in this whole crime is Sandusky and I just feel like that wasn’t centered on enough in the news. Many ignorant people still go around saying Paterno was the pedophile. It’s those people who anger me, who need to get their facts straight. Sandusky should be thoroughly punished for what he did, but I feel like Paterno got more punished than he did with all the humiliation.
With all that ranting, I would like to state once more that though I don’t feel like Paterno deserved all the criticism he got it does not mean that it makes it okay that he didn’t do more. It is not okay that all these boys were sexually abused, every time I think about it makes me sick to my stomach. I will join the fight against sexual abuse and I want the victims to know that it is okay to talk about it because they have a lot of supporters to protect them. People have learned from this situation, no doubt about that.
As an education major, the scandal hit close to home and really opened my eyes to events that could be going on in my students’ lives. When I think about the recent events and sexual abuse in general, I immediately picture my future classroom and all of my students sitting at their desks. Then I think, “How am I ever going to be able to tell if my students are victims of sexual abuse?” I want to be able to provide support and be there to listen to those students who are victims, but how do I know who they are? This question seems to always arise in my mind and I want to know how to recognize which students might be facing sexual abuse when they are not under my supervision. When I become a teacher, I hope to spend a lot of time getting to know each and every student that walks into my classroom. By getting to know each child individually, I hope to be able to pick up on signs that something unusual may be happening in a child’s life. In order to pick up these signs, I plan on learning more about what sexual abuse may look like in my classroom (i.e. warning signs, a child’s behaviors, etc.). I don’t want to be known as “that teacher that did not take action when a student in her class was being sexually abused.” If a student wants to talk to me, I will devote my time to listening and seeking further help if necessary. I do not ever want to turn a child away because I am too busy. This conveys the idea that I do not care enough about what is going on in his/her life and that their problems are not important. If I do not make myself available for each and every one of my students, who else can they turn to? I may be the only person they trust and if I turn them away, they might never get the help they need and the sexual abuse may continue. Therefore, I plan to personally make myself available for my students and/or any student in my school/neighborhood that wants to talk. In addition, I desire to learn more about sexual abuse and what the signs might look like in my classroom. By knowing what some of the physical signs may look like, what behaviors I may see in the students, and what emotions the students may exhibit, I will be able to better identify a possible victim and provide the support they need. If I am able to recognize these students, I will not only be able to provide support/help but also understand why they may be acting the way they are. For example, if they began the year acting well behaved and getting all of their work done on time and all of a sudden they begin sitting back quietly, not getting anything accomplished, I will recognize this and approach the situation differently than I might have otherwise. It is my hope that sexual abuse will not go unnoticed in my classroom and that I can recognize these victims and provide the necessary help/support they need.
I agree with the girl in class that was talking about Coach Joe and the whole scandal that happened in November. It was not right to have them put the whole blame on him like he was the fall guy. They did not think but they just did what everyone else did and put the blame on him because he only went to one person that could handle the problem. The thing is the person that was supposed to get the problem fixed did not do the right thing, instead the one that is at fault only gets a slap on the wrist and gets told not to do it again. Throughout the whole thing I feel so bad for his family and what they had to be put through. The victims that came up in the paper were very upset that the wrong person got most of the blame then the other person did. The thing is the person that did this has no respect for the victims or for himself. The way that you saw it all over the TV’s it makes you sick to think that a grown person is with young children in a locker room shower. It just sickens me because I knew a couple people that have little kids and they get sexual abused. One that I know she was only 5 years old and she never the area that I live and the thing is that I worked with her mother for a year. We became close as friends and she told me what had happened. I could imagine the horror that kid went through, she was scared, alone and had no idea what was going on. The sad part to that is this person was a neighbor that the family knew. This little girl was never the same after that; the way her parents found her was when they went into the bedroom to look for her, they saw a dark shadow under the bed in the corner curled up in a ball crying. The rest of the story was just too much horrifying to listen to. The other one did not have that much story to it because my mom’s friend did not want to talk about. My guess is that for her to talk about brings up very bad memories so we left it alone. All that I am trying to say is that it is not right for someone to take the fall for something that they did not do. I all so think that everyone made the wrong decision to fast. When that happens everyone is goes crazy and we get the bad comments that people make, also the bad news that happened and no one could ever forget that day. It would be a long time before any one forgets.
When Sam brought up the point about the possibly high number of sexual abuse victims even in our own classrooms it really opened my eyes. It’s not that I was completely in the dark about how prevalent sexual abuse is, I guess I just never really stopped to think about how likely it is that many people around me have been victims of sexual abuse in some form. I think it’s equally important to assume that there are a number of people in the class that have sexually abused someone. I personally have never been around a situation of sexual abuse and it worries me that some of the people that are close to me may have been and are scared to let anyone know. Because I haven’t been through what they have been through and I can’t possibly imagine the effect that their experiences have had on their lives, I understand that the amount of help I can offer them is limited. I think the most important thing that we can try to do to help victims of sexual abuse is to try to help them trust someone again. If someone is sexually abused I can’t imagine how hard it would be to ever trust a person again. It is the responsibility of the people who care about them to try to slowly rebuild that ability to believe in someone. The victims need to know that there are people in the world that truly care about them and that would do anything to protect them. I know that many victims of sexual abuse feel as though they are worthless and that is why they have been abused. I think if the people who love them can make them realize that this is false then it is the greatest help they can provide. We need to try to make the victims feel comfortable enough within their friends and family to tell their stories and not keep everything held inside. No matter how slowly the healing process is, we as human beings have the responsibility to make these victims realize that they are regular people and there is nothing wrong with them. The thing that gets me about the Sandusky case is that based on the grand jury reports he clearly showed his victims a great amount of affection. This wasn’t just simple rape he took these boys to a lot of places and formed actually relationships with them. And the scary thing is I don’t know if that makes it worse for the victims or better. I would maybe even think that Sandusky’s victims will never ever be able to trust another person fully in their lives. And that is a sad and horrible idea.
I believe the larger question at hand is how we go forth in recognizing the victims of sexual abuse (not only in the Penn State scandal, but also around he globe. As we talked about in class, the idea of child sexual abuse is often an awkward and ignored topic because it makes people feel uncomfortable. Personally, I do not know anyone firsthand who has been a victim of sexual abuse, as this is true for many other people. However, as Sam mentioned in class, many people could be around me who have been abused in the past and I will never know and the victims may also have a hard time labeling what they went through as ‘sexual abuse’ because they may be confused about the exact definition. Regardless, I feel like the issue of sexual abuse is generally ignored by society. Going forward, I think as a community we need to make more people aware of the issue of sexual abuse. We need to be made aware of the number of victims (it’s the only way we can put a stop to child abuse!) After the scandal broke at Penn State, some student rioted. However, more students gathered at Old Main for a candlelight vigil for the victims of the child abuse. There was not a dry eye. This is a start to recognizing the victims. With just a simple candlelight vigil, the Penn State community offered our support and lent a helping hand to those suffering in the crowd (perhaps those who have been sexually abused as well). I believe just knowing that people care is a huge thing for the victims of sexual abuse.
In the future, I believe that we can create more programs to assist those who have been sexually abused. A place in schools and in universities where those who believe they have been sexually abused can go and speak in a judgment free environment. By addressing sexual abuse and forcing it to be in the open, I believe that people will be less likely to hide a scandal if they happen to stumble upon one in the future. Instead, they will put a stop to it immediately and stop it from happening in the future. Additionally, I would like to thank the girl who spoke out in class about her experiences and Joe Pa. It took a lot of bravery to speak in front of such a large class and it was a comfort to hear that she also did not fully understand why Joe Paterno was blamed for something he did not do. She raised the idea that the system is flawed and that until it is fixed, sexual abuse will continue. Like I stated before, perhaps the more we talk about sexual abuse victims, the chance to stop sexual abuse will increase.
Penn State is an amazing and powerful university. After this scandal, we did not fall apart. Instead we raised money for the victims of sexual abuse and rallied behind our school (although a few students chose to riot…). I believe that in the future we will continue to carry the high standards and values of this university forever (although it won’t be the same without Joe Paterno leading our football team).
Personally, I believe that children/victims of sexual abuse happen frequently all around the world. I have friends who shared with me that they had been sexually abused at a young age. When my friends had sat down and told me about their experiences with this topic, I felt the need to help them out and be their for moral support. People of all ages are going through these rough times in their lives. Being a Penn State student and transferring up last semester, I experienced so many tragic events going on between “The Sandusky Case” and Joe Paterno's death. When I was reading through the Sandusky Case, what shocked me was how long the sex scandal was going on for. 20 years! That blows my mind. The sad thing is, is that ESPN and people all over the world right off the bat bashed Joe Paterno. He alone, had done so much for the Penn State University as a whole and some people are not giving him any credit because of the sex scandal that happened. He had dedicated so much to the Penn State organization that Penn State named a part of the library named after Joe Pa. I feel like Joe Pa should have done more than just notify the Athletic Director, Tim Curley, and the director of business and finance, Gary Shultz, about the sex scandal. I think he should have went to the police and other faculty members. Joe Paterno was honest and never lied when he was a mentor, coach, teacher, and role model to thousands of people, even during the sex scandal. While Sandusky, who still admits to the public, states that he is not guilty of his actions of sexually abusing children. This makes my stomach cringe because he helped Joe Paterno by being an assistant coach and for all these years he went behind Joe's back and destroyed his career. Joe Paterno's death was a huge culture shock to Penn State students, alumni, teachers, staff and others. Sam Richards says “We are all going to die” which is true. The way I look at life is how death comes when we least expect it and I feel we need to live life to the fullest.
After releasing the incident of the sex scandal at Penn State University, Syracuse's assistant basketball coach, Bernie Fine, and his wife, Laurie Fine, were fulling around with some of the ball boys. The worst part is, is that they had evidence of the sex scandal because ESPN recorded a phone interview of the wife telling the story about the sex scandal that her husband was involved in. She told the reporters that her husband has a lot of issues and that he is a sick man, but what she didn't say was how she also was involved in the sex scandal along with her husband.
It's hard to actively help a cause such a victims of sexual abuse. Most victims aren't open about it, or maybe they're in denial to some extent. I know I probably wouldn't want to talk about something like that. I would find it embarrassing. I'm not saying that victims should be embarrassed by what happened; that would be awful. I can however, to some extent, sympathize with people who might be ashamed of it, even though it has never happened to me. After having the issue of sexual abuse thrust into the lives of everyone at Penn State, most of us recognize that we should do something to prevent it, or help people recover from it. So if I want to make myself more open to talking about it. I've always been a good listener, and I wouldn't have to fake interest because i care about what others care about. Maybe I do, indeed, know some people who have been sexually abused (I don't know if I do or not), but if I am approached or presented with a scenario in which I am talking with someone who is a victim of sexual abuse, I will do my best to be there for them because I'm sure such a horrific event has to take a serious toll on a person. Talking things out can help more than most people realize, and maybe through being open on both ends of the conversation I can help people move on from there bad experiences, giving them closure. Maybe we can all try to change our attitude toward sexual abuse victims too. I feel like they're sometimes not treated as normal people, as if it's there fault that they were abused. We should all avoid making inappropriate jokes about the issue, as well. Some celebrities make pretty insensitive remarks regarding sexual abuse. This needs to stop. We should all accept victims into our lives with open arms, because I can't imagine anything worse than being a victim, and being isolated as a result of their horrific past. So, in the future, I will do my best to "be there" for anyone in need of someone to talk to. In addition, I encourage everyone else to take up a similar attitude toward relationships with sexual abuse victims.
Personally, I have never known anyone who has come forward and told me or anyone else of being sexually abused by someone else. For all I know I could have multiple friends who were sexually abused at some time but they don't want to talk about it for different reasons. Personally I have never really thought about how I can go forward in recognizing victims of sexual abuse until this recent class. And to be 100 percent honest, I don't think I have any clue as to how to go about and recognize the victims. I know there are organizations out there like Prevent Child Abuse PA and RAINN that raise money to help prevent this and to help victims. I distinctly remember after the scandal broke at the Nebraska game there were people all over outside the stadium collecting money for these organizations and I remember throwing some money in. I also distinctly remember after about a week it was announced that over 200,000 dollars were raised. I guess this is a start to helping recognize victims, not only from the Sandusky scandal, but of abuse all over the country and world. But to be honest, I remember thinking that it was great we raised that much money, but the same question kept coming back to me, what is that money used for? I still don't really know the answer to that, is it used to help educate people on sexual abuse and how to come about reporting it or to help support victims? Personally I have no idea but I will continue to support organizations like these if it seems like it helps victims and to prevent further abuse. Personally the best I can do for victims if I know them closely is to be there in support for them. For other victims like those of the Sandusky scandal, the best I think that I can do is to keep them in my prayers and hope that justice is done and that this can all be put behind them and they can lead normal lives again.
Lastly, the girl in class who told us of her unfortunate story, I think she can serve as inspiration to many other people who may be afraid to come out and tell people. This girl told an entire class of about 400 plus students about unfortunate events that took place in her life and that takes a lot of guts. But it can serve as inspiration for someone else to come out and maybe just tell 1 or 2 other people who are very close to them. Also when she voiced her support for Paterno, I don't know what it was but something made me happy when I heard that. The media keeps trying to make those who support Paterno seem like evil people who don't support the victims because the media claims that victims would never support Paterno. But to hear someone who was a victim at some point in their life voice support for Joe just made me happy to hear someone completely opposite of what the media tries to make people think.
For me personally, I guess it is to recognize the signs of sexual abuse. I really want to be a pediatric physician assistant, so I feel like there is a huge possibility that I will encounter children who are being abused. I also should be an adult that children look up to and a mentor who they can tell me that they are not being treated the way they should. I think working in pediatrics will allow me to be the adult that can make a difference in a child’s life. From everything that has happened recently, and from going to Joe Paterno’s memorial, there’s one phrase that has really stuck out –“make a difference”. JoePa made a difference in countless lives, and scandal aside, I think that is what he wanted us as Penn State students to take that lesson and live by it. I can make a difference in a child’s life by educating children what is right for an adult to do and what is wrong. Children need to understand that they can speak out and to not be embarrassed or scared for doing so. It’s so sad to see and hear all of the jokes about child molesters and what not because it is belittling the fact that sexual abuse is something serious. By making jokes about sexual abuse, it shows a bad message to children because they might feel embarrassed for speaking out since it is a joke to everyone else. All the people making stupid jokes need to realize they are the bad guys too. They are being hypocritical because they are part of the reason why children may not speak of their abuse. There’s always a silver lining in everything. I think the silver lining in this whole Sandusky thing is that child abuse and happen anywhere by anyone. It is not as publicized and many people do not speak out. Sexual abuse on children happen everywhere and people don’t understand that. Look at Syracuse. It is a very distinguished school as well, and yet they are going through a similar situation. Until now, sexual abuse was though of as very rare on children. I hope some good comes out of this case and more children learn about what is inappropriate for an adult to do. I know when I am older and have kids I will make sure they know what is right and wrong when it comes to sexual abuse because you really cannot trust anyone. I hope in the future more children will speak out when they are being sexually abused because it can make a difference in not only their lives, but in the lives of others who may be sexually abused in the future.
As far as this particular question goes, I really do not know what to think. As any decent individual would think, I am of the opinion that people who molest or sexually abuse are among the lowest on the earth. In my mind I want to do anything I can to prevent these terrible acts, but Im not sure exactly If I could be capable. Now this may sound like Im a bad person with no moral conscience to allow something like this to go on, but there is a story backing me up.
As nobody would know, I have two older siblings which are both women. They are almost polar opposites of one another and think nothing alike. One of them had a boyfriend which was kind of a tool. Long story short, this one guy sort of took advantage of my sister and my sister was too afraid to do anything about it. To this day I don't think anyone in my family knows that I knew it was going on before they did. I was only nine years old and thats why I think I didn't do anything about it. Honestly my sisters are so opposite that I wouldn't be surprised if I heard about the other one beating the shit out of some guy and him being afraid to do anything about it. However, It isn't about her and the fact is I knew about the current situation and did nothing about it. I personally blame it on my age and being too afraid to speak out. You would be lying if you said you had that kind of courage at that age.
So given my past experience, Id like to hope that my courage has upped a bit and I would report such abuse. Not only would I report it, but if I personally saw it happening then I would take matters into my own hands. I'd also like to think that I could have some sympathy to offer the victim since Ive seen it first hand. To end with, I thought it was courages as hell what that girl in class did. To speak about what happened to her was amazing. I don't think I could stand up and ask a question let alone talk about a personal experience that hurts me greatly. Kudos to her.
Child abuse. What comes to your mind when you hear those two words? Is it a personal experience, sadness, anger, Penn State and Jerry Sandusky? Maybe it’s all of the above. When Sam was talking about how many of us in Soc 119 have suffered child abuse I was astonished. I never realized how common such a terrible act is. I realized that the person next to me may have experienced child abuse for all I knew. There she was just sitting there with her iPhone like anyone else in the class, but she could be hiding something of her past that is just too emotional to let go of. I realized at this point that child abuse is just as common for children as going to the playground; it is sad, but true.
The recent occurrences at Penn State have really gotten me to think about the harmful effects of child abuse. Let’s put just the Penn State situation into perspective. Because one man with a sick mind committed terrible acts, good men were fired, a prestigious university has lost its reputation, a town is left heartbroken, and most notably, those young boys and their families have been scarred for life. The damages of child abuse never end. The victims will have those emotional scars until the day they die, and Penn State University will be rebuilding its reputation for years to come. One of the worst things about the entire situation is that these victims who need healing and support have been put to the back burner. This is not to say that the effects the scandal has had on Penn State are not important, but I feel as if these poor young men deserve reparations before our university has any sort of progress.
Keeping all of this in mind, I thought about what I can personally do to recognize child abuse victims. As a current student here thrown into the ripples of the effects of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I attended the candlelight vigil for the abused victims and purchased the stop child abuse shirt for the “blueout” at the football game. This is a start, but I know I can do so much more. Just today, someone in my discussion group admitted that she had been sexually abused as a child, and I was stunned. No one had ever told me that before, let alone been willing to share it with an entire class. I realized then that if a person is open about the harmful events of their past, it makes the healing process easier. In order to help in this sense, I can always be a good listener whenever anyone wants to share an experience they have had. I will listen, and they will begin to heal. I also think I can personally make a difference in my future career. As an elementary school teacher it will be my job, both legally and morally, to report anything suspicious regarding child abuse to my superiors. This will eventually help recognize the situation, heal the child, have proper punishment given to the accused, and ultimately stop child abuse. I hope to make a difference in the world, and this will be a decent start.
Hearing Dr. Richard's lecture on the Sandusky incident really helped me open my mind and lead me to discover a new way of thinking about everything that had happened. Before the class, I was constantly struggling with which side to take and whether or not I could feel sorry for both sides (Joe Paterno being fired and the poor alleged victims). I try to put myself in the victim's shoes and understand their pain and anger towards everyone who was involved in the alleged cover up and even more anger at everyone who supported the people who tried to cover it up. However, then I would hear stories of Joe Pa and realize how amazing of a man he was and how he changed so many lives, and I would think, "There is no way Joe Pa could have known the full extent of this and did not try to do more. There must be something we are all missing. I shuffled with these two conflicting ideas for a while because I felt that I could not choose one without betraying the other. Yet after hearing the lectures, I have learned that I do not have to choose a side. I can mourn for the victims and understand that Joe Pa even stated that he should have done more, and yet I can still love Joe Paterno for all of the donations, love, and support he has given to the university.
Also, I loved what Dr. Richard said about how Joe's last big contribution to the world was turning a spotlight on child abuse. Because of everything that happened, thousands of dollars were raised to promote awareness and help to stop child abuse. This incident gave several people the courage to stand up and say that they themselves were abused when they were younger. Now, we need to do what Joe Pa would have wanted us to do. We cannot just forget about all of this and sweep it under the rug; we need to expand upon it. We need to make sure kids know that they can tell somebody else when this happens to them and learn from Joe Pa's possible mistake so that if we ever hear about or see a child being abused we do what we can to make sure the child is safe.
Penn State students are already largely involved in THON to help raise awareness and millions of dollars for children suffering from cancer. Now however, we must also focus our attention on preventing child abuse. The scandal and riot from November have tarnished Penn State's proud name, and now it is our job to fix this and remind everyone that Penn State is an honorable place where students learn about integrity and honesty along with their other subjects.
I think the best way to remember the victims is by simply not forgetting them. It seems like a recurring theme in sexual assault cases that in stead of worry about those that are abused, we would rather concentrate on the attackers (Or Paterno). So after those that are guilty are locked away, everyone seems to forget about the victims, the young boys that had their lives flipped upside down. It is unjust to forget them. We need to stand with them and show them that they can get through this, that although there life has been altered, they will in fact be OK. Only when our society as a whole wakes up and takes a stand to recognize sexual assault more openly, can change happen. I think there needs to be a change for stricter laws and stricter punishments to protect helpless children. I think that would be the greatest way to remember these children from this case.
I can’t speak from personal experience about sexual abuse, because I have never been in a position of such actions. And although statistics would say I’m lying, no one close to me has been sexually abused either, to my knowledge. I am thankful for this but at the same time I am very aware that sexual abuse goes on in today’s world and I am sure I have come in contact with someone who is a victim of horrible actions. I had always been aware of sexual abuse, but not to the extent I am now as a result of the scandal that occurred at Penn State with Jerry Sandusky. Sometimes, I think it takes a monster like this to raise awareness about the issue. While I am in no way backing up any of his actions whatsoever, I am saying that it made this problem much more recognized throughout the country and even around the world. Jerry Sandusky is not the first person to ever sexually abuse someone and it actually occurs much more often than most people think.
Although often it does not happen to the extent that events in the Sandusky scandal did, it still is a major problem worldwide and needs to be brought to attention. This scandal at Penn State has certainly brought me more awareness, as I did not realize the extent to which it occurred. Some of the statistics really blew my mind. For example, Sam said in class that one in every nine people has experienced some form of sexual abuse. That may not be the actual statistic but it was something of that nature and I couldn’t believe it. I don’t understand how such horrible acts could occur so frequently and what makes it worse is that most of the time it goes unnoticed. In a way I think that maybe the scandal here at Penn State is a microcosm for sexual abuse across the country. While definitely not a small event, it proves that so much can be done about it, but rarely anything is. For example, there were so many people here at Penn State that could have put an end to the horrible acts being committed by Sandusky but no one did until it was way too late. Coach Joe Paterno admitted that he made a mistake and that it was one of the “sorrows of his life.” He should have done more and spoken up, but he is only one of countless people in the same position. While the media portrayed him as the bad guy, he only made the mistake that people all over the world make, and that is not speaking up about sexual abuse. Awareness needs to be raised about the issue, and this case at Penn State may have done just that.
When I looked at this blog post I read some of what other people had written. I saw that a lot of people had written about the girl that stood up in class that shared her experience and had written about the scandal involving Joe Paterno just highlighting the child sexual abuse problem. I was looking at all of these posts and all I could think was that these people just don’t get it. They think they know all about this sexual abuse stuff but they don’t. So many people were trying to relate the girl in class and the national media together but it does not work like that. The point I’m trying to make is that there is no possible way we could understand what the girl who spoke up in class went through or start to understand how this scandal affected sexual abuse among children. The national media did not once talk about these kids unless they were talking about Joe Paterno being a disgrace to the game of football. Even though you guys might believe that this made it better for these kids, it did not. Now not only did sexual abuse get a backseat to Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky, I’m not so sure the national recognition was such a good thing. In my opinion we did not go forward with this issue, but backward. Victims do not want to be thrown into the spotlight for something most of them would like to keep a secret from most of the public. These kinds of situations are memories these children want to forget. One of my good friends at Penn State was a rape victim herself. She has only told a few people about it and her parents don’t even know. In addition to these kids getting unwanted attention, the foundation that Sandusky created, The Second Mile, will most likely be dissolved because of his major role in it. That is just hurting even more kids not just sexually abused kids. What I took from this experience is that child sexual abuse happens regardless of how much we try to stop it because there are perverted people out there. No matter how much we raise awareness it is one of those things like rape; it can never be stopped. I’ve learned to just respect these people and kids and to not try to understand them, but to just feel sorry for them and respect their privacy about their situations. I’ve tried to understand the situation with my friend who was a victim of rape but it has proved impossible. Going into the future, I know that while there is nothing I can do to prevent child sexual abuse, I can at least listen, respect their wishes, and not try to understand and pity them. That is how I would make a difference in the world of child sexual abuse.
I am just one person, so when a question like this is brought to my attention I really have look deep with in myself and think what can I do. With such a serous and scary topic I really had to put myself in the shoes of the victims all over the world and I still really couldn’t even imaging the suffering , the pain , and everything the victims who have struggled with sexual abuse go through .
In class when Sam said that one hole section in our class room could be filled up with people who have been affected by sexual abuse . You always here about things like this happening but not knowing anyone who has been affected by sexual abuse I feel like people bush it off. That’s something I have done in my life. After thinking that someone sitting next to me in class could have been sexual abused or knows someone who has been, blew my mind and really was very upsetting to think about.
I feel like more school should talk about something like this a lot more in school and really get us more informed. I still find it really hard to know what I can do to help. I would say something along the lines of finding a organization and donating money but I know I would be lieing if I said that . So instead how I would like to help and make a difference in supporting sex abuse victims with ribbons and bumper stickers to recognize the victims . Its would be great if there were more fundraiser such as selling tee-shirts where the benefits go to help the victims and groups. I thinks its wrong that a lot of victims feel like that cant talk to anyone about whats happened to them, Its sad that they have to struggle with whats happened as well as act like it never did .
I believe there should be a lot more groups where the victims can go and talk and help each other. There needs to be a better way for victims to come forward after it happen instead of wait till years later . Its scary because theirs a lot of victims that have not even come out yet.
Just being in this class really made me think about everything that has happened here at Penn state and it really opened my eyes as well as made me change my mind about a lot of things. I hope justice is sureved for victims and they get the support they need to move on.
It is difficult to answer the question of what a single person can do to effectively recognize and support victims of child abuse. There is clearly a strong social opinion that child abuse is among the very worst and most reprehensible of crimes that a person could commit. There are organizations and groups created in order to raise awareness of these crimes and to demonstrate a sense of support for the victims. While participation with or donation to these organizations are fantastic modes of support for the victims, it is challenging to think of ways that I, as an individual, can react to this entire situation and go forward to effectively support these ( and all) victims of child abuse. I found it interesting to learn how common child abuse really is during Tuesday’s class. With such dramatic statistics, it is emotionally difficult to consider how many people who are close to me have gone through something like this, regardless of the degree. As a friend and a family member, I will be certain that I can fulfill the role of a supporter or as someone that can be confided in. I am very lucky to have never experienced any dramatic abuse throughout my childhood, but imagine that if I had, I would benefit the most through the knowledge that I had a strong and trusted support system. This could be true for any experience, not just child abuse. I guess you can never really know for sure what any person has gone through, and how it has affected them. Keeping this in mind, I think that the most effective thing that I can personally do to effectively support the victims of child abuse is to be sure that I am fully supportive of all of the people that are close to me, and to be sensitive to anyone that I may not know. You can never know what stays with a person, or how it will affect them. Beyond the support that I can give to those who I am close to, I think that it is important to keep things in perspective, particularly with respect to all that has happened here at Penn State over the past few months. I have had a very hard time establishing a concrete position on everything that has happened. I believe that Joe Paterno was a great man who has done great things for this community. I also believe that he made a mistake in not doing more than he did, whether or not he fulfilled his legal duties. I don’t think that his mistake should become his legacy. However, I feel that there have been equal or greater public displays of support for Joe Pa (even prior to this past week) than there have been for the victims of this tragedy. This isn’t a terribly original outlook, but I feel that it’s important that we remember to maintain the appropriate perspective here. Keeping these perspectives is a step in showing support of the victims.
Being at Penn State during the Sandusky scandal has not only changed my views on a sensitive topic, but also affected the lives of the thousands of people involved. From students, administrators, those involved, and most importantly, the victims being affected, almost every new piece of news coming out is negative. Watching the media eat it up and use the misfortune of children as a way to turn this into a soap opera about Joe Paterno didn’t help. Child sexual abuse is a very serious issue, however, it is so personal that it often gets brushed over or ignored. Given the statistics, everyone should know at least one person who is a victim of childhood sexual abuse. If I hadn’t heard those statistics, I would have assumed a much lower amount simply based on what I have heard from people I know. Crimes like this will always be a personal issue, but there is a certain stigma surrounding the issue. The trauma victims experience can cause them to blame themselves and develop problems that otherwise would never have been there. The types of people who go after young children to exploit their youth and naivete are sick and deserve any punishment they get. People are often victimized by people close to them as well, leading to issues with trust and betrayal. Punishment alone isn’t enough though, since it occurs after damage has been done. We definitely need better ways to handle situations like this once they do occur in order to prevent them from happening again. I’m not sure how some of the people involved were able to look a man in the eye and do business daily knowing what happened right on campus, but there is a serious issue as far as reporting and handling alleged complaints. I think there should be a greater emphasis on the victims in cases like this instead of everyone focusing on what has been done. The vast majority of conversations I have had about this scandal centered on Joe Paterno, the firing of Paterno, and the riots. Very few people have stopped to talk about what happened to the kids and how to look forward from this. The donations made to RAINN were great and definitely made a positive impact in many lives, but the issue of awareness still hasn’t been fully addressed. This situation is a perfect example of how the grey area with reporting these issues needs to be resolved. Joe Paterno ‘technically’ reported to the campus police and did fulfill his legal obligation, but that means nothing when considering Sandusky was able to continue committing crimes on Penn State’s campus. It is good that people who know about these crimes are being held personally responsible, but there should be a more clear-cut method for reporting and handling alleged child abuse so that children don’t have to suffer the abuse itself and then bring it all back during a drawn-out, highly public trial.
I think that the most important thing to prevent sexual abuse or any other type of abuse is to raise awareness. It is important for the victims to know that they are not alone, and that there are people out there that can help them. It’s a matter of showing support and letting them know that they don’t have to put up with the things they do. Most of the time victims are afraid to speak up, which is a huge problem because a lot of tragedies can be avoided if handled in time. People who constantly go through abuse their whole lives turn bitter and suicidal as time goes on. We have to help these victims. Anyone who has a good conscience should help if they see any type of abuse going on. In the case of Joe Paterno, he did report to his boss what he had heard was going on. But these were just rumors at the time, even now they have been unable to fully prosecute Sandusky. Joe Paterno himself became a victim of the media, because all the media wants to do is report about scandals and destroys people’s lives. The media is filled with muckrakers that will say whatever they can at the expense of another’s image in order to sell. The general public is to blame for this, because quite honestly scandalous topics sell. People looking from the outside in will only see Paterno as a plain football coach and not for the inspirational man that he really was. The Joe Paterno that all Penn Staters have known and loved throughout the years, is not the same one that outsiders have come to know. People from other universities don’t know of the impact that he has had on the school, or the many donations that he and his wife had made to better the school. Few people even knew about his Grand Experiment, and the graduation rate of his football players, which is the highest in the nation.
With regards to the question asked in class of whether I would sit on the side of a family member being convicted of a crime, or on the side of the victim, I would sit on the side of my family member. Even though this person has done something wrong, in the end he/she is still family and being part of the family means supporting them in good times and in bad. Don’t get me wrong, sitting on their side does not mean that I support/promote what they have done in any way shape of form. It doesn’t mean that I don’t sympathize with the victims either. I really don’t think a person should be antagonized just of because where they sit, that should really be irrelevant.
How do we go forward with the issue of sexual abuse? Well, personally and thankfully I do not have much experience myself or dealing with people who have dealt with it. I think it is a subject that we must urge people to speak up if it happens to them or speak out if they hear of something about a possible assault. I think sexual assault is something extremely hard to talk about if it happens to you but it is also something that usually requires the victim to need help. Help that could, sometimes, save their lives. It is difficult to say what we should do going forward because anything I think we should have done differently in the Penn State case has been said before. Every time something like this happens we always say how we should handle a situation like this going forward, but nothing ever changes. So yeah we should speak up if we hear or witness something. Yeah we should make people more aware of it. And yeah both of those things have been said before. I don’t mean to be too cynical but how many times are we going to say “what should we do going forward?” The simple reality is, is that there are people out there who feel differently than you and I. Some people think their social responsibility is different than what you think your social responsibility is and therefore when presented with an issue that they must handle, they will handle it differently. To be honest what will making people more aware of it even do? I mean I don’t have any experience in that field and I am sure there is more sexual assault victims around me than I realize but okay…now what. I don’t need to be informed about it to know that if I hear something I am going to speak up; if something happens to me I am going to take action. People freak out when something like this happens on a national scale but what people don’t realize is that this stuff happens all the time. So why now? Why does something like this have to happen for people to want to start and take action to prevent it from happening again? Keep in mind that the action they want to take consists of ideas that have already been thought of and actions that have already been taken. I realize this can be seen as a negative response. Almost seeming like this is a lost cause. But my message here is the only thing I think we can realistically do is be the change ourselves. Make a difference by handling the situation correctly; God forbid you ever encounter anything like that.
How do we go forward with the issue of sexual abuse? Well, personally and thankfully I do not have much experience myself or dealing with people who have dealt with it. I think it is a subject that we must urge people to speak up if it happens to them or speak out if they hear of something about a possible assault. I think sexual assault is something extremely hard to talk about if it happens to you but it is also something that usually requires the victim to need help. Help that could, sometimes, save their lives. It is difficult to say what we should do going forward because anything I think we should have done differently in the Penn State case has been said before. Every time something like this happens we always say how we should handle a situation like this going forward, but nothing ever changes. So yeah we should speak up if we hear or witness something. Yeah we should make people more aware of it. And yeah both of those things have been said before. I don’t mean to be too cynical but how many times are we going to say “what should we do going forward?” The simple reality is, is that there are people out there who feel differently than you and I. Some people think their social responsibility is different than what you think your social responsibility is and therefore when presented with an issue that they must handle, they will handle it differently. To be honest what will making people more aware of it even do? I mean I don’t have any experience in that field and I am sure there is more sexual assault victims around me than I realize but okay…now what. I don’t need to be informed about it to know that if I hear something I am going to speak up
Child sex abuse is a very delicate subject matter and it is one that must be handled very carefully. There are two ways to go about attacking the issue of child sexual abuse. One is on a personal level and another is on a societal level. There are very limited ways to talk to a victim a sexual abuse. Many might not want to talk about their incident because it can strike up very bad memories which can lead to panic attacks and emotional breakdowns. The objective of the personal level is to open yourself to them by means of communication and to show that you are a person that someone can vent to and will not judge them. It is imperative to be the listener when a victim is willing to talk with you. This is to create thought patterns for each person. For the victim, it will make them feel important and it allows them to open up and tell their story. For the listener, it creates a direct flow from the speaker’s mouth to the listener’s eardrums and then it reaches the listener’s conscious mind. With this comes a keyword when communicating with someone. This is empathy. Becoming so consumed in the story that you couldn’t even imagine how the victim has been bottling these emotions up inside them all this time. As for the societal perspective, there are many different types of ways to create a positive environment for victims of child abuse. One thing we can do is educate people about the issue of sexual abuse. Teach others the statistics, ways to spot a victim of sexual abuse, how to report the abuse, et cetera. Another thing we must do on the societal level is to encourage victims to report their assailants instead of letting them go free and attack more children. Teach the victims how important it is to make sure that pedophiles don’t do these types of things again. If these types of crimes go unreported, the pedophiles carry on with their actions and the victims won’t be able to seek the type of counseling that can help mend the incurable wounds of their experiences. These crimes are so difficult to handle because they involve children who have been told to respect authority. When they are being violated by adults, they begin to feel uncomfortable and start to question their own self-worth. They lose their innocence and become confused about what to do. It is important to tell children the necessity of talking to their parents. That line of communication is vital for these instances. When the crime occurs, the child can go to his/her parents. From there, the parents can hire a lawyer who can keep the child’s identity anonymous, thus bringing about justice in the world.
I know that this is a difficult question to answer and its one that I have been struggling with since the scandal broke. I think that the most important thing about the scandal is that it is important to remember that there were so many victims and that this should really be about them. What happened to them is disgusting and disturbing to think about, but its important that we do not forget the real crime here.
With the scandal coming to light it brings up questions of what should we do? Both if we were the ones to report it, and to help the victim. Personally I think one of the most important things that can be done for the victims is to just be open about it. I don't know how to help them, but letting them know that they have our support and that we can provide a way or a place for them to vent must help.
I think its also important going forward that we acknowledge that things like this unfortunately happen far more often than one would think. We as a society need to accept that this is a real problem and hopefully come up with ways or mechanisms to cope and deal with it moving forward. I think the biggest step we could make here is to just acknowledge it exists. It should be talked about more openly so that the idea is less shocking and more down to earth and close to home. Maybe by being more familiar with the subject, we will have a better idea of how to handle it so that hopefully something like allowing a predator to have free range will never happen again.
I feel that maybe it is not my place to say this but I think that the first step in doing anything to help anyone who has been abused, be it sexually or otherwise, is for that person to feel ready to open up. From there, I don't think we actually need to do too much at all. As a culture we seem to love to form committees or create support groups but ultimately this just moves the issue as it were, into someone else's lap. Instead of trying to make more of what we already have, we should take it upon ourselves to try and carry each other's burdens. Be it in the name of religion, "brotherhood" or "sisterhood," friendship, or anything else we as individuals should be working to make ourselves approachable. We should be working to create an aura about ourselves that says, "it's ok, you can trust me. I will carry your troubles so that you can catch your breath."
I know I try to create this feeling within every connection I build because I want those who know me to know that even if I have just met them, I will do all that I can for them. I am not a victim of sexual abuse, though I have someone close to me who was, but I have been a long standing target of psychological and emotion abuse. I cannot claim to know the horrors or the feelings that come with being violated, but I do understand what it means to not have all of the pillars of trust and support I was told to depend on in my family. I know how much it sucks to have to choose to just totally bar the truth from my mind and constantly spew up half-truths to keep the peace. At the end of that all I look forward to is sharing my burden with someone outside, someone not engaged within my family's conflict. Those various "someone's" over the years have each been a god send to my sanity. And I know that no support group could have provided me that sort of intimacy.
Look at me, I got ahead of myself a bit….
I guess what I am trying to say is this. If we care half as much as we say we do about our friends we should be making ourselves available to carry their burdens. We should be willing to reach out to those around us and make sure that they have just as much a chance to rest their burdens. No gets through life without a few scars or challenges. And if you are not willing to stand up for your friends in their time of need, can you honestly expect them to stand up for you?
Sexual abuse is a very big issue. I find it hard to even think about, I really do not know how the people that have experienced it can deal with it. But like the girl in the class I was really proud and I envy her for the strength that she had and how she moved on and continued her life. I am sure that not all victims of sexual abuse are able to move on and at least try to forget about their past. When I think about it and imagine what if that happened to me, I do not know how I would deal with it. I do not know if I even have the strength. I am also very proud of the victims that came forward about the Sandusky scandal. I am sure that it is very hard to tell people that you have been sexually abuse, in this case for the victims of this scandal the whole world. And really for doing what they do by coming out and telling the whole world about the tragic event in their life they deserve to be recognized and they deserve to be supported. I know that our University has done somethings like the the blue ribbons and the candlelight vigil was a nice way to support the victims. But I am sure that this is not enough, because those victims deserve more. I wish I could do something to help the victims of tragic events like this, but I can't really erase their past and put happy memories in. Unfortunately the victims are stuck with those memories, but I think we do need to change the laws of the schools and Universities that say that in situations like these you notify a higher authority and not call the police. One of the students said that in elementary schools if the teacher notifies the police they could even get fired. I think that is nonsense. How could you fire someone that is trying the save the life of many other people? And with Joe Pa, I don't know if firing him was the right idea or not. He did do what he was supposed to according to the University right? So, why do we fire him for doing his job? I am not saying that we should have let him continue his carrier at Penn State, even though he does do his job spectacularly, but why couldn't we just let him resign? I am sure he would have resigned after that scandal anyway even if the University didn't fire him, because Joe Paterno cares about the Penn State family, and he would have made the right choice for the well being of the University without anyone telling him.
It is such a tough situation to be in regarding the scandal surrounding Penn State. I have grown up in a Penn State household. I grew up watching all of the football games, wearing Penn State apparel, and always jumping to defend the Penn State name when it is in question. But I have always had such a strong stance against people who do such sick things to children. It absolutely disgusts me how certain people can do such things. And it does disgust me to know that some people knew such things were happening and allowed them to go on. So the dilemma comes in as to should I display my loyalty to my school which I was raised to admire, or do I support the values and opinions I have developed against such absurd crimes. I do support Penn State, and always will. I do believe that many people at this institution knew of the events that were occurring and I do feel those people should be punished in amazingly harsh methods. But I am a firm believer that the name and reputation was not built by these people. Our respect and our trust is not, and should never, be because of a bunch of trustees, coaches, and deans. The university is represented by students. We are the offspring of the environment here. So in no way can anyone use what has happened to characterize the type of place Penn State is. As for the victims, there will never be anything to make up for what was done to them. There is no closure. There is no taking it back. I do think they deserve to see those responsible for the crimes to be punished. In no way do I hope to offend any victims by this, but I do feel like often times the victim and their parents are responsible as well. While I never have been in such circumstances and may not fully understand what occured, I cannot help but think where were the parents and guardians of these kids. I think it is a different story for those who may have only been in one such incident. But those who repeatedly encountered this situation, they or their parents much have put them into that situation repeatedly. No I am not saying it is fully the parents fault, but I think there should be some sort of blame accepted by the people that put these kids in some of these situations. I think real progress needs to be made in the quality of parenting in this country. I think a huge step would be to educate parents on ways to notice and prevent things of this nature from occurring. I might be just being insensitive to the whole thing, and I wish I did not feel like this sometimes, but I cannot help but think about how some blame is to be layed on the victims and their families.
When something is such an offbeat topic, a conversation usually held in whispers, then figuring out how you may positively impact others without making people uncomfortable is a difficult feat. Honestly, I would like to completely disregard people's comfort zones. Children who have been sexually abused have been forced out of their comfort zones into a world of confusion and pain. What makes matters worse, is there is no one there to talk about it.
So the way I would like to try and help the victims move forward is by creating a community where we can talk about these matters. It is difficult, and when I sat in class this previous Tuesday it took all my power not to stand up and leave due to my own emotions ravaging around. But if you sit through it, you force yourself to listen, and you force yourself to empathize and to feel these horrifying emotions, then the better a person may be at comforting another. None of us are prepared for sexual abuse, whether you are involved or indirectly affiliated. No one can ever be prepared for such a tragedy. So in the wake of tragedy something must be done. We constantly try to take measures to prevent, but what is so interesting to me is that I do not think in our own schools we have many mediums to express ourselves if the tragedy already occurred.
Cancer used to be something no one liked to talk about. But now we have marathons, yogurts, and clothing lines to help support the cause. The same sort of trouble is happening with those with mental illnesses, and only very recently have we become much more open and provide numerous places for people who are afflicted to seek help. However, if I really think about it, I mean really rack my memory and try to remember a single website or telephone number or even someone I would be remotely able to talk to if I was sexually abused, I would come up short.
My way of personally showing the victims that I care, and would like to help them move forward from this tragedy, would to simply show that I am listening, and am willing to listen. My way of making a better world for those who find themselves confused, alone, and sick to their stomachs would be to prove to them that are, in fact, not alone. Not even the least. Sam showed us that in a room filled with around seven hundred people, a frightening portion of nearly 1 out of 6 would have been sexually abused in some way. It is time we make a community where we can talk about this, because clearly the abuse is happening everywhere to too many people. And what better way for crime to occur than if it is always kept under wraps? It is time to shed some light on this topic, and help bring victims back into the light.
The recent events at Penn State have brought a great deal of national spotlight on the issue of child sexual abuse. Although everything that unraveled at Penn State is absolutely horrendous and sickening, I believe that in a way everything happens for a reason—and the silver lining here is that more Americans and people around the world have opened their eyes to the prevalence of child sex abuse and its horrible after effects and consequences.
The entire Penn State community came together in October to stand strong for the victims at the candlelight vigil at Old Main and ever since then. That candlelight vigil spoke volumes. It told the world that Penn State cared for the victims. We felt their pain. We saw the injustice. We wanted to do everything that we could possibly do to make things right and to show the victims that they would always have our support.
I believe that candlelight vigil was the first major step that Penn Staters took to make a positive difference in the world of sex abuse victims. We need to continue on that path and continue to do even more to ensure that they feel loved and supported in the right ways.
This topic is a very touchy matter to begin with, and most people in our society prefer to “hush” its seriousness and ignore its effects and implications. However, we as a society need to alter our mindset so that we embrace this issue with open arms and so that we as a society can openly discuss anything related to it by encouraging victims and others to share their stories and get the proper help in order to heal and get back on track. We need to teach our citizens and others around the world that the best way to alter the traditional mindset is by spreading awareness of what is happening in houses, workplaces, schools, and places of worship all around the world. Sexual abuse transgresses age, race, ethnicity, gender and socioeconomic status. We all need to be educated about its prevalence and the victims need to know that they have our support to fall back on.
I propose that we begin a campaign that spreads awareness—right here at Penn State. There is always potential for the campaign to grow into other states and countries around the world, but the movement would have a powerful jumpstart if it was founded at the eye of the storm, the storm that has affected Penn State for the past couple of months now. The initiative could have multiple sections that focus on different aspects of the issue of child sex abuse. One section could focus on direct contact and help for sex abuse victims by offering different services such as counseling. Another section could focus on relations with different departments at Penn State and neighboring schools in order to raise awareness and educate others about the importance of being involved in the world and realizing and acting on what is going on around us. I believe that this initiative could impact the lives of many in a positive manner.
It came up in class about whose side of the courtroom you’d be on if the person you loved the most was guilty of a horrific crime. My friend sitting next to me made the comment that she wouldn’t go because if the person she loved could do something like that, she clearly didn’t know them and that their entire relationship was a lie and meant nothing. It got me to thinking, can someone commit acts that are fundamentally evil and wrong and still have genuine caring relationships? Can someone be both a monster and a lover? Does someone committing horrific acts negate their relationships with the ones who love them
I felt the opposite of my friend. That the horrific act wouldn’t negate everything in a relationship. Not every one of my acts are for one end cause, regardless of what that cause is for. I can form a relationship with one person built out of greed and another built out of genuine love, and because I still have the nativity or possible wisdom to think that if I can do something or feel something that everyone can. If I found out the person I loved more than anything did commit an act, I would like to believe that I could forgive and see past it. Yet, these things are very situational, and depends on the motivates behind it.
Could I understand and sympathize with the reasoning, and is it something that the person can be helped with? Had the crime been so grossly unnecessary and not understandable, I am not sure I could forgive. Also whether it was a one time mistake or a habit and a pattern would also play into my ability to forgive. I would like to believe that love can conquer all, but there are some things I just could not handle even if I tried. Do you think that someone who commits these acts, that their motives are solely to complete those unspeakable acts? And if you don’t believe that, how can people who love monsters justify their love and their relationship?
Can they say that they loves this part of the person without acknowledging the other part? Do you think that Sandusky’s wife or children could still love her husband? And do you think that Sandusky, who has been painted as a monster could still love his wife even while committing these acts? In a similar vein, it reminds me of the show, Dexter. Dexter who has a family and in some capacity cares and loves them, and yet he is a cold blooded murder. Does an act of greatness (greatness defined as an extent, amount, or intensity considerably above the normal or average) negate our smaller acts and count for more than our daily activities? ____
Sam posed the question to us something along the lines of is it difficult for us to honor Joe Paterno and still feel for the victims. I felt it was questioned in the sense that we have forgotten about everything that has transpired over the past two months up here. I felt that a common misconception from outsiders looking in was that we supported Jerry Sandusky throughout this whole ordeal and that by protesting Joe Paterno’s firing that we, in a sense, didn’t care about the victims who were affected in this scandal. We never condoned any of the despicable acts and that is one thing that has bothered me for the past two months. We all realize how to separate Jerry Sandusky’s acts along with Joe Paterno’s silence and inaction from Joe Paterno’s million good deeds to make this school, community, and life up here better for everyone. It’s been overstated but if you don’t go to this school you probably don’t realize what has happened, how we have felt, or how our lives’ have been changed forever. It seems that our whole world has been flipped on its head and we didn’t know how to cope with it at first, we are still getting there.
The one thing that bothers me is that all of us Penn State students are looked at differently now. We had a high standard set for ourselves up here and we portrayed ourselves as some of the best students in the country. The country knew we were partiers and that we liked to riot. News stations in a sense applauded us for celebrating Osama Bin Landen’s death last May. I understand that we weren’t destructive in that celebration and that was a great way for us to control ourselves. In this recent riot we were destructive and I am disappointed with us for acting that way. But we were portrayed by the media in a negative light and the media has been disgusting throughout this whole ordeal.
The one thing that is upsetting throughout our new portrayal and our new found bad reputation is that the repercussions will be seen when our totals are shown at THON this February. I undertand that our total will be down because we lost a canning weekend but a lot of people will see Penn State on our signs and refuse to give us donations that they would normally give us. Another way that most people on the outside won’t separate the actions of Jerry Sandusky from the million of good we do in THON. If people don’t know what good we do every year for the millions of kids with the Four Diamonds foundation then they have no room to make comments about what we has happened these past two months.
How should I go forward to make a difference for victims of sexual abuse? This is really hard question to answer, because unless you are a victim or personally know a victim you can’t possibly understand what they have experience and how they dealt with this unfortunately event of events that have took place in their life. Until the past events, I never really thought much about the children of sexual abuse and how they cope with it. It is a really hard thing to talk about, because it is a sad and awful. Many Victims don’t even say they have experience being sexual abused. They are more likely to depress this issue and act as though this never happen. Which makes it hard for others to help them deal with what has happen to them. I believe that there should be more support groups and awareness groups for these victims. When you know that, there are others like you and is going through the same emotions and confusion as you. It makes things a little bit less stressful, understandable and easy to talk about it, this would be great way to connect and help these victims. As of now recently I had found out April is the Sexual Assault Awareness Month, which a lot of people don’t know. Due to the recently events I think our school should really get involved with sponsoring this month just like they sponsor Thon and reaching out and fundraise for these victims. Making a difference for these vitims doesn’t have to be big as the ones I just stated. They can be as small, by just talking to person a you know that is a victims, or just passing out pamphlets or buttons letting people know that we are there to support and help victims of sexual abuse. How I will move forward and make a difference, be during the month of April, I will wear the teal color ribbon. I will show my respects for these victims, even though that is not much but is it is show support and let them know I am there to help.
The outrageous scandal that took place here at our university was a tremendous eye opener on so many levels. Child abuse is an extremely sensitive topic but should definitely be addressed. Millions of children yearly are sexual assaulted in some manner. Many times it goes unreported because there either to afraid to mention it or when they did mention it the matter was completely ignored. Personally I would try various things to prevent future cases of child molestation and sexual abuse. One of them would be to try to organize charities and safe haven for the victims. I would do whatever it takes to show them that I am here for them so I can gain the trust of these children. Yes I admit it will be hard but I will work for it. I have never experienced anything of the sort but one of my very close friends has been. The experience was jaw dropping but after she exposed it the victimizer did suffer dire consequences. Not everyone will be as brave as her but it’s vital to speak up. When nothing is said it’s hard to try to put a stop on something.
One thing that I couldn’t get from the whole scandal is why Joe Paterno was so harshly penalized? Yes as a loyal honest man he did admit to the fact that he could have done more but when it’s all said and done he was never the pedophile. Also he wasn’t the highest authority either, so if it’s going to be reported due to its severity it should be taken all the way and not left on one or two individuals. To me Sandusky has played a valid role but yet I hardly here him even mentioned. To me his punishment is so minimal and doesn’t really show the repercussions. My greatest condolences do go out to all the children that were ever molested in anyway. I know they may feel terrible and embarrassed but can be at peace with themselves. More ways I would recognize victims do something positive way would be volunteering at local schools to talk to kids so they can be open and teach them things that are wrong which they may think is ok. Also teach them the proper terminology of private parts of the body. This would be helpful in identifying what activities are exactly being taking place. Another positive thing I would personal do is get children closely aquatinted with their parents to the point where everything is exposed and discussed daily. They should converse openly on things there not sure is right so that way anything wrong can be dealt with immediately and the suffering of the victims won’t have to last longer than it needs to.
I feel like because of what we have gone through as school and as a student body with the scandal that has occurred that there is an extra amount of pressure on us as a group to be making a stand against child abuse and personally I want to rise to the occasion in this situation. I want to show that just because this scandal happened that it does not break us and that we are more then what happened. It also seems that we have to prove that just because someone who was/is associated with Penn State did terrible things that does not mean that we are associated with them or are supporting the actions that occurred in any form. I wish there was an easy fix for this situation that there was something I could do to make the people who do these terrible things to other people just disappear but that is not how the world works. I think the best way to start is to acknowledge that this is happening to people every day, all around the world. I am a Rehabilitation and Human Services major so my first instinct is just to say all you can really do initially is be there for the person and hope that when they are ready that they might open up to you about what they have been through and maybe you can help them to overcome or just come to terms with their past experiences. I think that is one of the most important things we can do for a person is to just be there. As hard as it is to keep in mind is that most people that abuse other people have been abused themselves and that tends to play a huge part in why they are the way they are. It does not make it easy to be empathetic or to really grasp but it is just a factor to keep in mind. In other respects I think it is important to raise awareness of this issue. This issue has not been a prevalent issue in my life or something I really spent time thinking about until this year and being associated with the events that have occurred over the past few months and it just really motivates me to want to make a difference in this area and to show that we are and always have been much more than a football school. I am not really sure how to help or to jump in but I think gaining knowledge on the issues of child abuse and sexual abuse and also trying to be an advocate for people going through this is a good first step.
I like to relate a topic like this to basketball, you have to go for the 3-pointer. When the game is on the line you always go for the 3. Related to the molestation topic by helping as many victims as possible. It is either go big or go home. Going big meaning taking the topic extremely serious and really understanding how the victims feel deep down. For a serious topic I like to try and relate myself to the individual in the situation. If i was in that situation, I would go BIG, for the 3, and try and rescue myself from becoming a victim. When it is all said and done, I relate my entire life to basketball. I love shooting 3 pointers and I try and relate everything to that because it is very easy for me to comprehend different subjects if I relate it to something I love.
Sexual abuse is an ongoing problem in the world. Often times many people are not aware of how frequently sexual abuse occurs or how crucial it can be to a person’s physical, mental and emotional development. Many people may have either experienced a form of sexual abuse or know someone who has. Sam brought up a great point in class. He asked us whose side we would be on if it was our mother, best friend, sister, etc who was accused of molesting a child. Majority of us said that we would be on the side of our loved ones. He gave us an opportunity to look at the situation in various perspectives. I believe that many of us realized that our opinions and feelings can be changed based on who is involved. If our loved ones are involved in a situation like this we are most likely to be on their side. Although this is the case, this doesn’t make sexual abuse right. Many people believed that Joe Pa should have done more than he did however; Joe Pa reported what he was supposed to. I believe that Joe Pa was in shock and disbelief when he heard about Sandusky raping the little boys. Sandusky was his friend and someone he worked with for many years and to hear that this act occurred was shocking. Instead of focusing on the actual problem everything was directed towards Joe Pa. Many people disregarded the fact that these victims were still suffering from the abuse. Majority of us commented on the issue however we will never know exactly how we would respond or what we would say unless we are in that situation. The victims of sexual abuse need to be the main focus. I feel that we need to not only be aware of those victims of Penn state but also victims all around the world. A lot of times people do not realize how serious and detrimental sexual abuse can be to a person’s life. I believe that listening to a victim’s story is the first step in helping them cope. Numerous victims have not been able to express their feelings or emotions about their experience. Once you have listened I believe the next step is helping them seek counseling. Victims carry this burden for many years before they actually realize how much they have been affected and how it has impacted their lives. Another way to move forward with helping sexual abuse victims is bringing awareness. We need to realize majority of the times people are sexually abuse by family and friends rather than it being the stranger we always thought it would be. Issues like these are main reasons why I want to become a social worker. It gives me the opportunity to help someone overcome these experiences in healthy ways. Most times all someone wants you to do is just listen to them. If we can be that ear, we can help many victims lives change.
I believe everyone in class agrees that child sexual abuse is horrible crime and it is terribly wrong. According to what I learn little bit about educational psychology, child sexual abuse has a critical impact on a victim’s development. It’s like building a huge wall around the victim’s inner self. It not only gives detrimental effect on the victim’s emotion, but also destroy his/her mind in a significant degree. The effect possibly lasts his/her entire life, and change the way to view this world. Child sexual abuse is really serious issue that you can not simply leave by saying, “well, we are gonna die in 80 years”. I think everyone of us should move forward to change. The very first step to do is to change ourselves and share the idea with others. Even though not many people want to discuss this issue but wrong is wrong. What if the victim is the one near us? Are we still going to do nothing about it? I know media limiting how we view the world by broadcasting things in only one-sided way, so we should be careful of. But remember, as Sam says, what media broadcasts reflects the mass or us. We cannot blame the media for everything because they give what we want; media and the mass have a mutual relationship. Rather than blaming media that has not focused on the victim, we should first have to be concerned of this issue and spread to each other. I know many people, including me, are reluctant to take actions because it is difficult to lead in the front. But what if we lead others together? We should be more active and at least aware of the seriousness of the problem. Furthermore, we know Pennstate students are the ones who will be disadvantaged by this event, mostly. Beside this fact, if it is not us, who will change it? If is true that many victims are afraid of reporting the truth, we should help and protect them. Action comes from mind; mind comes from consciousness; consciousness comes from unconsciousness, and unconsciousness comes from subconsciousness. If we can change our thinking, it will have impact on me, us, and this society. It is difficult time. We may be puzzled, not knowing what to do. But we can find small thing we can do about and put it to action. We can discuss it more in group, or we can join group to make better society. We can share our thoughts to share what we should do. No matter how difficult the situation is, if we put our hands together, we can go though it, and this difficulty will turn into opportunity to move forward to better society. Maybe I’m being too emotional when writing this. But we are, Pennstate. Let’s do what Pennstate does.
Honestly thinking back on these last couple months I truly have struggled with the right way to “support” people who have been effected by sexual abuse. I think most people’s first reaction to the scandal was shock and sadness. Its easy to hate anyone involved in the scandal just because that’s how everyone around you is acting, but being pushed into the middle of this scandal really opened my eyes. It is easy to tie a blue ribbon on your book bad or retweet some inspirational quotes to the victims, but what is that really doing for the victims?
Despite the overwhelming amount of students who pledged there allegiance to the victims on countless social networks, when it came down to actually doing something real for the victims the support was not so strong. I am not going to lie, I am guilty of the same offense, but when a friend of mine came told me that she would be doing a sort of dialogue to allow students a place to talk and learn about sexual abuse I decided to get a little more invested in the issue. I showed up to the event, at first just to be there for a friend, but left with a whole lot more on my mind. A total of three students showed up to the event, including myself. It broke my heart that a friend of mine went through the trouble to get professionals to speak, in order to help other students deal with the situation at hand, and no one even showed up. If only one tenth of the students who claimed to care about the victims had attended, the room would have been filled ten times over.
However, we still spent the time to talk with lawyers, therapists, and volunteers who had delt first hand with the issue and my mind was truly blown. I was starting to understand how the victims were really feeling. Unfortunately, after this event, I was not able to attend any other forums of fundraisers; partly because, like most important issues, after the initial outcry wears off.. so does the support. But the important thing to realize is that these issues do not go away.
When I think about what I can do to help the victims, I struggle to come up with a valuable solution. I can’t look a victim in the eye and tell them that I understand what they’re going through. I can’t start a support group or provide first hand advice to young kids. The one thing that I have realized I can do is listen. I think one of the most important thing to do in support of victims of sexual abuse it to provide them with a listening ear, and even a shoulder to cry on. If there was one thing I learned from the forum that I attended is that every event, situation, or run in with sexual abuse is different, and perhaps the first step to helping a victim is listening to what they have to say.